| rev:text
| - Extremely slow, sloppy service, majority of food was pretty mediocre especially when factoring in the high prices. I was here twice due to a friend's birthday, so this review is based on a dinner in the private dining room for about 40ppl and also their Sunday brunch for 16ppl.
The palms place valet was full they said because they're sponsoring the ufc fight that night. The fight was in Brazil, so I don't really get it... I had to self park and haul my presents, balloons and other stuff, so an awesome start.
The private dining room was great, glass enclosed overlooking the lighted pool area and the main dining room. They had 4 big round tables that comfortably seated about 10. Although there was enough waitstaff filling waters, there was only 1 waiter or bartender taking drink orders. That meant waiting for about 15min till he acknowledged me, then another 20 till drinks actually arrived. I saw the other waiters at brunch the next day, so I know they're all capable of taking drink orders. In addition to being slow, the guy also seemed bored like he didn't want to be there. Maybe the built in gratuity had something to do with it, but don't stand there with a pissy face all night.
The courses came out timed pretty well. I guess they do their private dining family style, which just seems lazy to me. The tables are too big, plates are too big and heavy for a family style dinner to make sense. There's no lazy Susan like at Chinese restaurants.
The chefs and/or waiters also can't count because we were shorted on some of the food. Not everyone got a piece of chicken (I got a little drumstick) and I don't really count a 2" square of steamed salmon as an ok portion. Dessert was good, but again they were really cheap with the portion. Since dinner is charged per person, they should in theory have enough of each item for each person right? Not at Simon. At Simon, 9 people get a bowl of cotton candy, 4 snowballs, 4 (mini) hostess cupcakes, 4 brownies, 4 rice crispy treats, 2 little containers of carmel corn and 6 cookies. Makes sense right? Right..
I don't even want to know what my friend spent on dinner because I'm sure it would make me sick. Nobody wants to say anything (and he's not on yelp), but he got ripped off big time. It wasn't just the portion - quality was lacking as well. Only thing that stood out were the charred edamame. Meatloaf was good but dry, chicken was good but no clue what the little black things on the side were.
On to Sunday brunch the following day. Our waiter was nice but seemed overwhelmed. He seemed to be hustling, but the kitchen was slow as hell. With such a limited brunch menu, things should've flown out the kitchen. We were waiting 20-30 minutes for our orders, which is unacceptable. All they had to do for a benedict is poach an egg then assemble it, everything else should've already been made. They're also really slow to clear.
I ordered a ham panini and toasted bagel. There were 3ppl waiting so I went to get sushi which is 2 feet away. That @sshole gave my stuff to someone else, didn't apologize or anything. The ham and cheese on pretzel bread was inedible - there was so much salt on the bread its the only thing you could taste. Bagel was a bagel, can't eff that up.
Really good, fresh sushi but really limited options - spicy tuna, but no tuna sashimi or nigiri. The spicy tuna on crispy rice was good but not at all spicy. Pastry and dessert selection was limited and nothing was note worthy. They also had smoothies and cocktail shrimp. I don't like that it was peel and eat - for $40/person they couldn't just buy peeled shrimp?
Breakfast pizza, pulled pork benny on jalapeno cornbread and the cornflake french toast were awesome. The flavors of the pork benny went perfectly together and i love that the middle of the french toast was custardy. 10x better than babycakes' cornflake french toast. Chicken and waffles featured a tasteless chicken finger with your standard waffle, "lobster" benny was also a big fail. No joke, the only lobster piece that I found was a sliver less than 1/2 cm big. Crepes sit in a pile, not made fresh to order.
Mimosas were good, but our glasses sat empty way too often. So at a total of $57 if you opt for unlimited mimosas, bloody Mary's or Bellini's this brunch was a little pricey. If you like Sunday brunch with made to order entrees vs buffet I highly recommend Republic Kitchen at half the price, way better service and better food. Its not on the strip, but hey neither is Simon.
I noticed most of the reviews I read mentioned they had either a travel zoo coupon or dining credit from staying at palms place. A good restaurant shouldn't have to rely on promos like that to fill the dining room. It still wasn't full on a Saturday night btw, but brunch was busy.
My friend was drunk and too busy jumping between tables to realize the issues with dinner. But I will be sure to encourage him to go somewhere else with his money for next years
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