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  • Ok, so Jessica has seen me naked more than any other woman who has never slept with me (except probably my mom and that one babysitter) and she's yet to laugh. I don't know if she bites the inside of her cheeks or secretly wears flaggelatory under armor that is so painful no laugh is possible... But she just waxes and spray tans away. Did I mention I'm hermaphroditic, which is embarrassing but a real thing I'm dealing with. And Jessica just applies pressure and love and she tells me story of youth's lost innocence and I tell her stories of philandering hermaphs and we laugh and laugh and the cows come right home. She told me that it's only because of my duel genitalia that she's willing to wax me because of the curiosity deep within her (nothing about that last part is true). I am rocking one of her spray tans RIGHT NOW (I'm at the uptown vig on Oct. 3 2013) and people keep just not understanding what is so different about me. It's a glow from heaven. Or rather JT Aesthetics. SCHEDULE NOW... don't forget to exfoliate.
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