Halotious trinkets for people with small, shiny minds.
My favorite thing in this store is the way that everyone seems so damn serious about their devotion to the age-old craft of mass-produced chachkas.
If you're lucky you can buy a limited edition. These rare artifacts offer you the exclusive chance to join other selected mall-goers in actually getting to meet the skilled artisans who painstakingly computer design these toys.
Some even come with certificates of authenticity which you can use to settle passionate arguments with those lesser-folk who buy cheaper identical-to-the-naked-eye items at dollar stores and the Chinese mall.
Let's be honest. It's like the Franklin Mint for people with "Mint".
Nothing screams 'pretentious fuckwit' louder than shopping for a giant crystal butterfly.
Congratulations on the promotion, sir.