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| - Royal Kabab Express is a solid little stop for Kababs (Surprise!!) Shawarmas, Donairs, and plated meals of the like. It's right next to a liquor store, making it a fantastic one stop shop for all you bachelor dudes looking to grab the necessary supplies for a night on the couch, watching hockey in your underwear. ...Don't judge me!
My first impression when I looked at the menu was "that's pretty pricey for a Shawarma," but it all became clear to me when he started putting it together. These puppies are MASSIVE!
The menu lists the sizes a Medium, Large and Super. Be prepared for Gigantic, Are you Kidding Me?! and ARE YOU $&%*ing KIDDING ME?!?
I ordered a large chicken shawarma and another guy in line ordered a Super. Both our eyes bugged out of our heads when we saw these thing. Mine was a good 12 inches long with the mass of a dying sun. I can't even imagine what the other guy was in for.
Make sure you eat this over a plate, have lots of napkins, a garbage bag poncho and a swimmers cap and goggles wouldn't hurt either. There was no way I could eat this sucker in wrap formation. Try as I did, my final decision was spill it's guts into a mound spanning an full dinner plate and proceed via fork 'n' knife! I ate as much as I could for lunch, saved it, ate as much as I could for dinner and I still failed to eat the whole thing.
So it's big - but is it good? Yah.. it is. As far as shawarmas go, it was pretty standard. Mostly tasteless tomatoes and lettuce, and it was loaded with so much pickled veg, sauces and spiced chicken that the whole thing because a massive mish-mash of flavours that I couldn't pick out and yet still desired something more. I resorted to drowning the whole thing in Sriracha and keeping on my merry way.
It's the kind of Kabab shop, (maybe a little cleaner,) that I picture The Avengers hanging out in at the end of the movie, but think they intend for it to be take-out only. There is a small dining area with a table to sit at, except there always seem to be child booster schairs with Sharpie marker signs on them saying "Take-out Only, No Sitting," or something along those lines. I don't quite know what you want from me, Royal Kabab Express.
"Let's get in a cab
I'll buy you a kebab!
Now I can't believe
That I'm sharing a kebab with the most beautiful girl I have ever seen
With a kebab
Ooooooohhh."
- Flight of the Conchords
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