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  • Whisky River, where the whiskey flows like molasses on a cold day. You'd think that a place with a mechanical bull, costumed patrons and an affinity for country music would harbor a playful vibe. But playful is not a word I'd use to describe Whisky River. Like others on Yelp have said, drinks are distributed at a snail's pace. And they're expensive for a bar of this class. Enforcing my claims about the horrible vibe at Whisky River, the space surrounding the bars is a mixture between the floor of the stock market where customers thrust fists of cash at bartenders as they walk by, and a mosh pit. I understand that when a bar is busy, you have to expect the employees to be busy. But maybe they could use some of the $20 they charged just to walk into the place for hiring a couple more bartenders? On the Saturday night I came here, the fire marshal could have had a field day. It took approx. 5 minutes to weave our way from one side of the building to the other. Literally, wall-to-wall, shoulder-to-shoulder people--and this place isn't small. And that doesn't help the moods of the patrons. Everyone seemed aggressive and pissed. The guy operating the mechanical bull pulled girls out of the line waiting to ride, selecting the girls with the shortest skirts and biggest boobs. Mysteriously, the bull faced away from the operator for the vast majority of the rides, coincidentally facing the exposed posteriors of the riders to the leering eyes of the man with the joy stick. At Whisky River, the bulls don't buck so much as they vibrate in a jiggle-inducing seizure. And while I'm sure the following experience is a rarity, it is, in my opinion an ugly snapshot of the mood at Whisky River. On our way out of the bar, walking down the sidewalk, someone threw a glass bottle at us from the balcony of Whisky River. Is shattered on the handrail next to my wife. Thankfully, it didn't hurt anyone, and the cops saw the whole thing go down and ran in to try and find the culprit. But needless to say, I won't return to Whisky River anytime soon.
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