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  • It was a busy day. I called the lady I usually see to get my fingernails pulled out, but she was on vacation, so I stopped by the guy's place who pisses on your leg for $18 and tells you it's raining, but he was at his urinalysis, so I decided to just go to Lacy's. The owner of Lacy's got arrested, so I went next-door to this godforsaken turd burglar commune to get my daily dose of guaranteed disappointment. It was terrible like a french kiss with a flu-stricken meth-mouth wench after a garlic bagel breakfast. The salads are shockingly barren of any of the advertised ingredients other than lettuce. The falafel is akin to balled mashed potatoes and shares a similar sharpness of flavor. The wait times are what you'd expect at a place that does live butchering-to-plate service. The fucking chicken wings are breaded. Who does that? This restaurant employs what I call "Urbana pricing" where each item costs more than anyone would ever pay in a city with enough restaurants to compete with each other. If there is a restaurant in Champaign County with a worse menu, as low quality food, and as consistently bad service as Crane Alley, please tell me about it. I probably wouldn't go there ever again either.
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