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  • This is a great place to knock back pitchers. If you can get yourself a table at Bikini, you've got it made, buddy. I like the diverse crowd of hipsters, grizzled old dudes, tough guys and the occasional homeless guy who comes in with a pillow, asking you where they have blankets. That's a true story. And then he started singing along to a Michael Jackson song, but didn't form any words whatsoever. He sort of looked like N!Xau from "The God's Must be Crazy." I'm gonna miss that guy. In the restroom, one of those miniature XXX things tumbled out of the vending machine. A gift from God! Or, so I thought. Free half-inch in diameter porn! The instructions told me to rub the chick's binki until it went away, but that didn't work. I tried using a quarter like it was a scratch-off or something, but I just ended up mutilating it. It was macabre. In a weird way, I felt like Lenny from of Mice and Men. I tried to be gentle, but I accidentally killed her. This place is great. I always have a very, very good time.
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