| rev:text
| - Low-Quality, Overpriced Food in a Dirty Establishment
Ah, La Dolce Vita ~The Sweet Life~
We were initially told to wait 40 minutes for a table, which we accepted with vigor, until 40 minutes passed and we were then greeted by a drunk man in orange pants who, I believe, was managing the establishment. He carried a cajoling demeanor, as he started joking with us, most of which we could not understand due to the extremely loud live Jazz music playing. Once we made it past the door crowd and the clamorous, drunk, orange pants man, we were finally seated 15 minutes later. The three of us were seated at a table set up for seating about 8 people, accented with full glasses of water that were put on the table way before we were seated - ice melted, condensation building up outside the glass. Note: there was no air conditioning inside this restaurant, so it was about 80 degrees inside. We thought, well, I guess this water is for us, and took a sip. Nope, about 5 minutes after we sat down, about three staff started clearing the five extra plates at our table without a greeting or exchange of any words, took the water from under our noses and replaced it with fresh glasses of water. A sign that let us know we were potentially drinking "used" glasses of water. As we glared at all of the Hawaiian, dollar store tiki decorations accenting the restaurant, we unwillingly faced the live jazz situation - an extremely drunk (perhaps something else?), sweaty, middle aged man laid his glazed over eyes on our table, calling us "the young people", and stumbled to us singing a jazzed out rendition of Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay by Otis Redding.
Shortly after, we ordered a $14 pizza to split and a $17 plate of pasta. I recognized the pasta noodles, as they were the bow tie noodles that a Giant Eagle or Aldi's stocks on their shelves. Barely any sauce was in the dish, and it was just that - sauce and bow ties, nothing else. No tomatoes. No fresh pepper. We also had to ask for cheese, which we received via a plastic grater. The pizza we ordered was slightly larger than a saucer dish.
The only plus side was that we didn't have to pay extra for ordering another bread basket because we were still so hungry, but although I saw an entire tray of glass olive oil bottles by the bar, we weren't offered any olive oil for our bread or food. Macaroni Grill blows this place out of the Sea.
The bathroom was extremely unclean. It appeared as if after eating La Dolce Vita, someone decided to crop dust the toilet with a storm of loose pubes. There was no toilet paper in the women's bathroom either, and my shoes wanted to stick to the floor.
I've concluded that Little Italy is a wolf in sheep's clothing, and a scam that leeches on the wallets Cleveland suburbanites. I'm sure there's probably someone in the back counting fat stacks of cash and investing it in anything but this restaurant. It's a blessing that Fellini passed away in the 90's, because he would definitely not be proud.
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