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  • I was mildly okay with Julios because it was cheap and it never made extravagant claims to being very good. It's greasy, overly-cheesed "Mexican" food that's bad for you. Sometimes that's what you want... the large, lousy portions for not much money with shredded bits of iceberg lettuce. Make no mistake, it's not good, but sometimes we all have our guilty pleasures and sub-adequate Mexican food happens to be one of mine sometimes--usually when I'm hungover or something. Last time I went there, I popped open a little salsa container for the chips and, Jesus Christ, it was a solidified gelatinous cube. It wasn't frozen, either. It was gelatin. It was this... ugh. It was denser than Jell-O, too, you could slice it with a plastic knife and it would continue standing on its own. And that's when I realized that what I was eating wasn't just bad food that's fun to treat yourself too every couple of months or a few times a year, I was eating a pile of failure. The novelty was gone. It's all fun and games until you see that salsa. It's like having fun drinking in a dirty dive bar, then you fall down on a pile of broken glass. The fun's over... clean up the glass, guys. Start making fucking salsa in a food processor and take some goddamn pride in what you do.
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