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| - Let me preface this by saying I have never written a poor Yelp review in my life. With that being said, the atrocious experience at this place led me to waste 15 minutes of my life drafting this, but I have a three hour drive ahead of me. So I'll happily spend my time doing that in the hopes that this dump gets brought down to the one star review that it deserves, and maybe gets shut down - one can hope.
I had the misfortune of going to this unprofessional and deplorable establishment the other day - here is a quick run down of our lackluster experience:
(1) This place does not honor table reservations
(2) This place lost out on money we were going to spend for bottle service
(3) Whoever runs the @MagnoliaFlats Twitter handle needs to be fired or sent back to whatever for-profit community college/University of Phoenix-adjacent school they bought their degree from to learn how to manage business social media accounts.
Where do I begin? The place is nice, but it's not a revolutionary concept (it's apparently a speakeasy, but it's really just your average try-hard club - it checks off every club cliche you could think of), but the artwork on the walls is nice if you're into the "graffiti on the walls of a rundown building" type of vibe. That's about as complimentary as this review will get.
For our friend's birthday, she made a reservation for a table for 12-15 people from 9 PM - 11 PM. She was told she would get a complimentary bottle of champagne for booking the table. We get there at 9:30 PM. Our server (who was very nice - these girls did nothing wrong) comes up to take our order. Our friend said she wanted to start with the complimentary champagne while we were looking at the different bottles we could order. We were told this place was out of "complimentary champagne," but we could get a round of free drinks - cool. No problem with that. We get our drinks and started deciding which bottles we wanted. At 10:00 PM (we were only there for a half hour at this point) we were about to order more drinks and bottles when some douchebag club manager comes up to the birthday girl and tells her that we were getting kicked out of the table because "a group of people who paid $5,000 for the table were here" and we needed to GTFO. Oh. (1) these people dropping the amount these guys allegedly paid for a table (during the time we had reserved) was beyond tactless (2) the whole time this was going on (and for the two hours afterward that we were there figuring out wtf was going on), there was a completely vacant table they could have either placed the other group at or us for the remainder of our time slot.
So after people from our group went up to said douchebag club manager to ask exactly WTF was going on, he comes up to us and says we can get one free drink and shot for the inconvenience and the birthday girl could get a complimentary table at a later date - whether or not this cesspool will honor that reservation is still TBD because they'll probably kick her out of the table again for another group that conveniently paid $10,000 for a table. Why someone would drop that much just to reserve a table at this place is beyond me.
Then one of the waitresses comes up to us and asks how we would be paying for everything. Pay for what? Being kicked out of a table that was reserved and potentially embarrassed (which we were not, but we did get secondhand embarrassment for how poorly managed this place is). The servers were tipped, but what they wanted us to pay for beyond that is questionable.
Then we get to the "social media" manager - what a piece of work. An airline social media manager could run better damage control than this imbecile. While we were waiting for this shitshow to be figured out, my friends and I tweeted to the club handle, as you do when you're standing around once your plans get derailed and you don't want to spend more money at an unethical place. This social media manager tweeted to my friend, and I quote, "Sorry man. Running a business, not a charity" and then continued to delete it. We have screenshots of this bullshit so if you want to contest this, try me. I didn't realize us trying to spend money at this septic-tank adjacent was a "charity" move - silly me. Then this social media manager proceeded to block all of us that tweeted at this place, because if you can't see bad feedback then you can still delude yourself into thinking your business is great!
Overall, I'm really glad this was merely a visit and that I don't live here, because if this is really the best place to go for a night out in Cleveland, I would rather be a shut in.
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