So I'm standing there in 100 degree heat in late September and they try and pull this on me after I just spent a week staring staring at honest-to-goodness sandstone? I'm here to make sure this place brings them long enough to get drunk and get hyped for a night of gambling and more expensive drinks, and they bring me this vinyl piece of garbage? I had them send the whole truckload back and bring me something of more substance. It's not going to fool anyone paying attention, but ripped guys too drunk to notice that the women they are trying to take back to their smelly hallway won't think twice about the stuff we ended up installing; that's all I'm looking for, really.
Of course they can drink in the river. I hear those fools at Mandalay Bay actually kick people out for dumping a bucket of spiked frozen ice in their tubes. If our customers are forced to drink before getting in the pool and then get out to reload, that means they are taking breaks from drinking to swim. Look at it this way: we let them bring whatever they want into the river and we can get a good three more drinks into these fools before we kick them out at 5:00 in time for overpriced dinner and losing bets.
Don't worry about it. It all washes out in the flow and the filters. There's plenty of chlorine.
Music? We've got it taken care of. We get enough bass to shake loose their filling and then pump different mixes into each pool. The PA system is tied into the highs, so the thumping keeps going even when we announce the drink specials.
Oh, and get that pudgy toddler out of here. No, the eleven year-old girl booty dancing to "I'm a throw this money while you do it with no hands."
Pro tip: If you get caught in a logjam of middle-aged fat guys in bad wigs, just shout, "Group photo!"