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| - My first and hopefully last visit to Destihl was a faculty dinner (Destihl is apparently one of the few places in town large enough to accommodate simultaneous departmental functions, as there were multiple university-based parties that night). But this convenience is off-set by the depressingly overblown chain aesthetic, here manifesting as a too-self-conscious effort to seem "on trend" with both gastro pubs and microbreweries (witness, for instance, the giant prop barrels by the front door) while failing to capture the particular qualities of either.
The "artisan food" was as mediocre as expected from this self-described "gastrobrewpub TM." We ordered pizzas as appetizers for the table; "stone oven" seems to be a euphemism for "toaster oven." The crusts were uniformly thin, but creepily so, without bubbling or crispness; the undersides were barely cooked. I suspect pre-formed frozen dough, by the taste and all-too-regular texture. The generous toppings were not supported by the crust, making each slice limp and increasingly wet. We also ordered the deep-fried asparagus, but I refrained -- the asparagus looked both too thick (these stalks were almost hot-dog-sized in circumference!) and too greasy.
One of our dinner companions warned us against ordering burgers; on her last visit, her medium rare burger was burned black on one side (and was not at all medium rare). She guessed that the cooks went outside for a smoke and forgot to flip the burgers, but generously wondered if it had just been a long night for them in the kitchen. In an attempt to heed her advice, I tried to order the grilled and stuffed pasta without olives, but the waiter told me that the olives "are already mixed in." I took that to mean that the pasta is made in a giant vat ahead of time (here I imagined a big plastic tub covered in Saran wrap in a walk-in freezer), and grilled to order, which didn't sound all that appetizing. Instead, I ordered the veggie burger (black beans and rice), and my g.f. the Kobe burger, medium rare. Both arrived with one black, charred side; her burger was well-done, ruining the meat. (Why eat Kobe beef if it's just going to be burned to a crisp?) My veggie burger was unremarkable, and my pile of shoestring fries had been overcooked in the fryer, and served to me lukewarm to cold -- totally inedible. I nibbled on two and then had to stop. Cold grease, ugh.
I'd much rather order a burger and fries from Steak 'n' Shake, where you know what you're getting for the money. Overall, Destihl was a big "no way." I will strenuously avoid coming here again!
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