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| - Apparently, I am a slow learner. Last year I visited this place for lunch and ordered the pad thai with peanut sauce. Extra peanutty pad thai! How could this be a bad thing?
Picture a pound of rice noodles. Picture a separate bowl. Picture yourself emptying a jar of Skippy crunchy peanut butter into this bowl. Then, add a can of coconut milk. Then, add four cups of flavourless vegetable oil. Blend. Apply to the pound of rice noodles. Remove flavour. Serve.
Actually, I don't know the recipe, but I dare anyone to contradict me. It was a mass of rice noodles, sitting despondently in this pale, thick, oozy, oily sauce. I shuddered, dumped it, and moved on with my life.
What happens? A year passes. Memory fades. Surely it was just that one dish? I have two bites of a friend's amazing red curry (from another establishment), and I have a terrible jones for Thai. I'm picturing a combo with red curry and pad thai. How bad could California Thai be? Even bad Thai is pretty good.
I head up to the eerily deserted counter and order combo #1 (under $6): a rice/noodle selection, a veggie, and a meat. I get the pad thai noodles, the tofu & thai eggplant, and some basil beef.
I taste all three. Or, rather, I fail to taste all three. My orange pad thai noodles are as innocent of flavour as my plastic fork. The tofu & eggplant is disgusting; floppy, mushy ears of tofu bathing in oil, with a couple of slivers of equally bland eggplant. Only the basil beef has any flavour; that flavour is salt. I sigh at my gullibility, dump it and move on with my life.
Never again, ever, ever, ever .
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