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| - So my friend was trying to convince me that Five Guys was a pretty good option to 'fast food', but in the end, industrialized conveyor belt food is just that. You can kitsch it, theme it, and hype it any way you like, but fast food is fast food.
After an outing at a flea market, we decided to give Five Guys a try. Well, I was trying it, he had been there before. On first glance, it kind of looked like a big warehouse of red and white tile, with piles of potato and peanut bags in a long line between the door and the ordering counter, and a big 'look how cool our themed 50's malt shop array of tables and chairs are' seating area. Tons of big red signs bragging about their wares, with quotes from newspapers and magazines around the country, lining the windows and walls.
We approached the ordering counter, and ordered. One large bacon cheeseburger, with lettuce, tomato and mushrooms, with mayo. They didn't have a dark mustard, only the day-glo ballpark wiener mustard, so I opted out of that. The very friendly and pleasant clerk didn't ask how I might want it cooked. Seems they just do that their way.
My friend ordered a basic burger, and an order of fries to share. And we each got a soda (Coke people, thank goodness...after hiking a big flea market, a Diet Coke was high priority).
$23. And we were number 30.
The number was called out, and our food came. Two burgers in foil, marked "#1" and "#2", tucked into a greasy paper bag that also contained a paper cup filled with fries, and the bottom of the bag lined with spillover from the rest of the fries. I have to agree with another reviewer who commented on the wasteful use of the cup, as well as the 'take out' nature of the 'dining in' experience. Just put them in the bag, or on a plastic reusable tray. Save a tree...or an entire forest.
Unwrap, and bite in. It was a burger. A one slight step above an average fast food burger. The difference was that it wasn't a frozen hockey puck burger, like the rest of the McFoods, but it was a 'hand formed' patty, as all of their promotional materials raved about. Was if actually from a bag of fresh ground beef? Considering the grey pallor of the finished burger, I had my doubts. The cheese was your basic square of American processed cheese, the bacon was...well...bacon, the mushrooms seemed liked sizzled canned, the lettuce and tomato were fine, and the bun your general average sesame seeded hamburger bun. The taste was better than the usual McWhopper, but not by much.
The fries were very greasy, but were at least real potatoes, versus the playdoh bioengineered variety at the other McFood joints. They didn't taste bad, and I opted for some of the cajun seasoning to sprinkle on my half, which made them a little zingier. But they really were just average fries.
Honestly, with the royalty of Winghart's available, and the next step down of Burgatory, why waste money on something that is 'just ok'? Step it up, drive another block, and go for the gold. Brass is just brass.
Theme-ing doesn't satisfy the tastebuds.
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