| rev:text
| - The woman and I go in for lunch because I made the mistake of buying a groupon for this place.
We walk in and a waitress cuts us off as we walk in. Great. We sit down and we are greeted by the usual slutty waitress dressed in black. Suits everywhere. Oh boy.
I get the fish tacos, the woman gets the mac n cheese without the pulled pork it comes with.
I asked for some Tabasco and being this is Canada, they made it as difficult as possible for everyone. They served about 50-100ml of tobasco with the meal in some massive bowl. What. THE FUCK. Tobasco is INTENDED TO BE SERVED OUT OF A BOTTLE, NOT A FUCKING BOWL. THE BOTTLE CREATES A NICE SPLATTER ACROSS DISHES, WHILE THE BOWL CREATES A POUR. COMMON SENSE DICTATES THIS. THIS IS WHY TOBASCO IS SOLD IN BOTTLES WITH A SMALL OPENING, SO IT CAN BE CONSERVATIVELY SPLATTERED SO CONSUMERS CAN HAVE A LITTLE BIT ON A DISH, NOT A BLOT LIKE I WOULD DO WITH FRIES+KETCHUP. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ALMOST EVERY BAR IN THIS CITY!?!?! DO THESE PEOPLE EAT THEIR OWN FUCKING FOOD? HAVE THEY EVER HAD TOBASCO BEFORE? HAVE THEY EVER CONSIDERED THE WASTEFULNESS OF THIS? I PUT TOBASCO ON EVERYTHING AND IT TAKES ME A WEEK TO GO THROUGH 100ml. Anyways I politely ask for a bottle from the woman bringing out the food and she eventually complied, making it seem like she was doing us such a special favor, like a concierge at a hotel getting in his car on his own time and expense to get me the exact type of cake that I want for my girlfriend's birthday.. CRAZY FUCKING CLEATUS and his CRAZY FUCKING DEMANDS; Tobasco in a bottle!
Her mac n cheese was pretty straightforward and bland. Real cheese was melted on it, though, and it still lacked any flavor. The garlic toast it came with went crusty and eventually so hard it was inedible after five minutes. My fish tacos were terrible. The tortilla (just one per taco, of course, using two or three tortilla per taco cuts the profit margin) was stale and going crusty. The fish had nothing to it, the tacos had nothing in it except these weird roots that I have never had in a taco. They came with some salsa which was more like bruschetta. Why do I try ordering fish in this city, expecting to get something half decent? It wasn't awful garbage, but it was most certainly not worth the $15/plate. For that much at lunch, you gotta serve something that took effort. If this took effort....fuck me this city is doomed.
Out comes the bill, and I get charged $1.50+gst for Tobasco. This must be a mistake. Waitress says no. I fucking lose it. I demand to see a manager so I can tell her that this place went from a 2.5 star to a 1 star review on yelp and they are forever losing any fucking business off this attempt to make one buck and a half. The server politely deflects my demand to see a manager and says she will take it off the bill. I am still fucking furious.... a surcharge for tobasco. What the fuck is wrong with restaurants in this fucking city? Paper chasers should not run restaurants. They belong in banks...in toronto.
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