| rev:text
| - Here's a typical day at Randyland.
It's 7:00 AM and the sun is beginning to sneer triumphantly between the three story buildings of the North Side. Until it sees Randyland. Suddenly it's not the brightest thing around anymore.
Then Randy wakes up screaming. But not from a nightmare. Simply because that is the only tone of voice he knows how to speak in. And he's awake so of course he's already talking. A paintbrush in one hand and a cigarette (or something) in the other, he roars outside and madly begins to splatter paint all over his brand new Hanes T-shirt, because if he wasn't covered in paint, who would know that he was the artist. He settles down and adds some more color and art to the already impossibly colorful art project. By the appearance of Randy himself, you might not think he could be very detailed, but the appearance of Randyland gives you an entirely different impression.
By then people are already starting to show up. If they're new here, they walk through the gate and stop and gaze around with a complete Times Square effect. How can there be so much beautiful color and detail in one place? Around noon, KNS Tha Engineer stops by for a music video shoot. That actually happened. Look it up.
Next we make our fateful attempt at Randyland. We walk in and sit on some brilliant chairs to relax and look at the sights. Randy isn't in right then so we're greeted by one eye and half a mouth of Josh, his assistant. Looking for an escape from his past, Josh walked in here one day and was saved by Randy. The artist in him is revealed as he adds more detail to Randyland.
Then Randy appears. You could hear him from several blocks away it seemed. Immediately he spies the cowboy/Pharrell Williams type hat of our Italian cowboy friend. "Oh! That is the most awesome hat I have ever seen in Randyland!!!" He continued to scream about it for nearly five minutes straight. The guy tried to hide behind some bushes but it was useless. His hat was still sticking up in plain view. Then he left. He ran away from Randy. He simply couldn't handle the awesomeness. Later he referred to it as Willieworld. "Why?" I asked. "Because it gave you the Willies?" "Yep." I think deep down he actually liked it pretty good, he was just scared to admit it. After all, somewhere with more color than a gay preschooler's paint palette is far too childish for a 78 year old cowboy, right? Wrong.
There were some kids from Brooklyn there inviting Randy to their show that night. "Hey! We should do a 2-second video about it!" Five minutes later they had a video about it. Two hundred or so people go through there a day. "Beautiful women. We get lots of beautiful women from all over the world in here," says one of Randy's shirtless henchmen. I'll take his word for it. And then when it's time to leave Randy says, "Are hugs ok?" Sure, who wouldn't want to get a hug from from a guy as amazing as Randy?
Another day, another dollar. (No no it's free, donations only.) Another day in the the most colorful artful part of Pittsburgh.
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