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  • I loves me some Halloween. It's good we can't rate our own houses for quality of display and treats (chocolate - no DumDum pops!), lest I be forced to immodestly award myself the maximum stars, but I digress... I have been attending haunted house attractions in town for years. I have never seen anything inside them. I pay my 15 bucks, latch on to the Anaconda's belt loops, squeeze my eyes shut, and follow him through. I have the best time of anybody. (The exception to this being one year, he was "away" (don't ask), and I was forced to be the one in charge, escorting the kiddies through. I saw it all and I'll never do that again.) So, being a glutton for the adrenaline rush, we trekked off again this year with my baby sis in tow (she's in her 40's). I was not going near the Castle Vampyre because last time the ceiling lowered and I was forced to become interactive. Count me out. They loved it. The Anaconda went through the Gates of Hell and pronounced it "F***ed up!" (And if you knew of some of the Anaconda's real-life adventures, you would realize what an impressive statement that was, so I knew it was not for me). That and the fact that I understand they separate you from your group. Oh, hell no! That left the Circus of Horrors. I hate clowns, as do all sensible people, so I was already nervous. The few glimpses I got inside were mostly due to the room full of balls and the disorienting uneven floor sections, where I was forced to open my eyes just as hideous harlequins came looming and leering from the shadows. (My- that was almost poetic)! The whole experience was almost survivable, however, until the end. There, they gather everyone in a small room and choose one hapless shmoe to lead the group and "feed the beast". Guess who the shmoe was this time? I got as far as the cage, saw a shadowed figure skulking in the back, threw the food at the bars and ran screaming out the exit door. Apparently, my companions were treated to the sight of the "beast". Good for them. Of course, I'll be back next year! (Half-off coupons usually available through dinelv.com).
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