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| - Just for fun, let's pretend that you, gentle reader, have never set foot inside a Walmart Supercentre. Let me set the scene.
Since we're obviously in the 'burbs you must first manoeuvre your SUV or minivan into a parking lot that can only be measured in football fields. After acquiring a spot nowhere near the store, get out of your car and see if you can feel the gravitational tug of the small-business-crushing blackhole that is Walmart. As you make way through the no-doubt-strewn-with-blue-shopping-carts parking lot, remember: this isn't even close to the worst of it.
The action starts right away. In fact, I've never entered a Walmart without someone else simultaneously leaving. It's an endless loop of consumption: coming, going, buying, breaking, dawdling, vacuously staring, slowly dying. Think maggots on a decaying steak. Be prepared for sobbing children. You might be greeted by a man or woman in a blue vest who you will avoid but still want to embrace and tell them it's OK. You will be unable to get any help in the store. This is normal.
Once you have crossed the 20-foot long, three lane vestibule that is the antechamber to savings, you will have entered the no frills fluorescence that is Walmart. At a Supercentre you need only *ponder* a saleable item (a towel, a toaster, skis, a pear, eye drops, a step stool, a USB hot chocolate stirrer) and as God as my witness: it will be manifest. It will also be of middling quality and priced so competitively you'll think you're at a garage sale, but you'll probably find it.
It would be foolish to attempt to distinguish this Walmart from others, and I shall not. A few positives (aside from their Olympic selection and human-rights-defying prices), are their sensible approach to the express queue (bank style), and their generous return and exchange policy.
Negatives include: their detrimental effect on small businesses in a community, their mostly-imported low quality merchandise, and the People of Walmart themselves. The POW effect is less pronounced in Canada than the US, but trust me, it's there.
In summary, if you can get it at Walmart, you can get it anywhere else. I recommend you do.
Obligatory Title Pun: All in all, it's just another brick in the WAL.
Menu Readability: Geez, even their logo is cheap.
Need to mention: Avoid any and every location in the month of December (or any time of year really).
What this place teaches me about myself: Not a damn thing.
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