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| - Warning: This review is not objective. It's packed full of personal bias, seemingly bloated perceptions of grandeur and emotional clouding.
Most cities have them. Places like Oh Boy that the locals love with their entire being and will defend until their dying breath as one of the greatest places on the planet. This is one of those places. I was born in Elyria, 1974, EMH. Lived there til I was about 10. I grew up with Oh Boy and their burgers. Memories of their restaurant, which has remained largely unchanged since they opened in 1953, are as strongly tied to my soul as the city itself. I used to go to the Lorain County Fair every year when I was a kid and picking up a silver-wrapped Oh Boy burger on the midway was inevitably a part of the experience. Hell, it wouldn't have been the fair without it.
Having moved away years ago, I don't frequent the actual restaurant as much as most but when I do the experience is always a good one. I've ordered the same thing every time I've been there, the Super Oh Boy burger (imagine a Big Mac but good) special platter, chocolate milkshake. The only deviation was made for dessert. The pies are always fantastic.
I don't mess with perfection when it comes to the burger. I order it "plain". This means the only toppings that come on the burger are shredded iceberg lettuce, American cheese and Oh Boy sauce. So what makes it a platter? You get the burger, fries and a "salad". I laugh every time I get the salad. It's a bowl of shredded lettuce, a dollop of Oh Boy sauce and a pickle slice. Yeah, it's the burger's toppings in a bowl.
What exactly is Oh Boy sauce? I honestly have no idea and I've never asked. Part of me just wants it to remain a secret. Sometimes knowing what's behind the curtain doesn't help. If I had to describe the flavor I'd say it's a mustardy mayo. More mayo than mustard. The fries, shoestring and perfectly golden crispy. Great for dipping into the shakes. Speaking of shakes, they're all hand-made at Oh Boy from Ohio ice cream and Ohio milk. Smooth, creamy, toothachingly sweet and brilliant.
To the outsider, they're just another small town diner that serves your typically average diner food. Know what? They''re probably right. To me it doesn't get much better. Oh Boy is a slice of America that is slowly dying off and being replaced by corporate-owned chains staffed by snotty-nosed, arrogant brats and completely devoid of personality. Oh Boy is a snapshot of a time that I often wish I could visit. Waitresses that call you "hon", formica tables, tableside jukeboxes, a long bar with padded stools hosting the butts of locals. I often complain when restaurants get "stuck" but make an exception for Oh Boy. I never want them to change, ever.
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