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  • I would like to preface this review with a quick synopsis of what I did the evening before my friends and I decided to tackle Cholla Trail. Synopsis: We went out. We got hammered. We went to bed at 2:00am after some mild puking. First of all, there was zero parking near the trail entrance, so the walk to the trail was quite a warmup for us half-drunkards. We had heard that the hike could take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half, so expectations for the difficulty were quite low. Beginning the hike with an eager and aggressive pace (lasting a solid 4 minutes in), we quickly slowed down to a pace equivalent to that of an 80 year old man on his way to a colonoscopy. As the trail became steeper and the rocks became bigger, our two bottles of water for four people were immediately gone. I would like to note that the boulders on the climb were extremely dusty and obviously the maintenance crew had been doing a sub par job. I would also like to note that the signs guiding the hikers were few and far between, causing (hungover) classy ladies like ourselves to stray from the "path." They should probably think about installing water fountains along the side of the mountain, so fewer people would need to be air lifted from the trail due to dehydration. After reaching the top and expecting an overwhelming sense of achievement, we were quickly let down by the amount of children under 10 who had made the climb without even breaking a sweat. I would not recommend this trail to anyone. There is not an elevator to bring you down once you reach the top. You also do not get service to order an über helicopter (which we debated for a solid 10 minutes). Do not come here. Ever.
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