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| - Dumplings are my go-to food when I need be coddled by my mother who, even though she lives a relatively shortish driving distance in Richmond Hill, is always too busy at her Madmen-themed cocktail parties in her retirement community to fry up a pierogi cluster for me when I am sad and lonely. You notice how every culture has some sort of dumpling? My Polish mama has pierogis and your Italian mama has gnocchi and whoever is the proprietor of this restaurant has a Chinese mother who makes dumplings and we are all together.
It's hard when you are sad and lonely to go to a Chinese dumpling restaurant because they come in sets of 12 and if you want a variety, you have to order some to go. SIGH.
I decided on the noodle bowl and chose the seafood with rice noodles. I am a low taster, having discovered that in Grade 10 high school biology class licking on some litmus paper, I have like, no tastebuds whatsoever. Which means food is all about texture and spice that will make you feel alive until the next day.
The noodle bowl arrived (and by the way, awesome lunch time service) and looked fresh and photogenic (sorry, I only use my phone for real porn). Remember I said I ordered the seafood bowl? Well there were several chunks of fried tofu on top. I know, right? By the way, I read an article about how tofu isn't all that and basically soy is garbage unless it is fermented and so if you eat tofu, you might as well eat Velveeta chunks...maybe I'm making that up, but true story about soy products being over-rated. I twirled my spoon around and found some seafood alright, but it was't chunks of fish and shrimps and delightful scallops but it was those tiny little marine weirdlings that are shaped like minuscule octopus and teeny weeny vaginas (clams?) that come in a bag that are in the frozen section that you wonder who buys this? Well I had that for lunch today.
Also being a low taster, there was not a lot of flavour to the broth. I was unexpectantly amused by the texture of the tofu because let us not kid ourselves, tofu is gross. I was disappointed by the Lilliputian micro-sea nuggets, BUT! I was happy with the rice noodles and the fresh greenery, because who isn't missing vegetable nutrients? But I think in the end, it was all boiled with just water, even after adding soy sauce and hot sauce, there was that something missing like maybe that awesome fish sauce that is actually pure anchovy juice that smells excitingly funky like the ladies locker room after a spin class. I think my mother would have liked this soup though, she likes things bland, being Polish and all. I have faith, though, that other things on the menu will be better and I will come back. Maybe it's me, my lack of taste buds and my loneliness. Maybe I don't need a boyfriend, maybe I need a girlfriend? Huh.
I took home some dumplings, the steamed shrimp ones, but they never made it home, I sucked them back one by one in the car in less than a minute after I pulled over at the liquor store on Danforth and Greenwood. Then I got some vodka.
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