| rev:text
| - This is the kind of garbage that gives car dealers a bad name.
I went in to buy two used cars, cash. I had seen them online, knew I wanted both, and went to drive them to make sure they were what I wanted.
It happened to be raining this day, I suggest maybe an awning (without the smoking salesmen, please... anywhere, at all, on the property or even in life just quit you dinosaurs) or an umbrella or two. People are going to want to look the vehicles over, and you'll piss them off when you make them walk around and get wet before dropping $60k. This is such very basic service levels, and oh yeah it's hot in the sun in summer so a year-round ROI for your capital improvements project!
From there, I drove the vehicles. They were as expected, I'm assuming the scum at this dealership hadn't yet touched them. This is where everything went wrong.
We sat down with the salesman, told him what we wanted. He was nice enough, I ended up feeling bad for him because of his working conditions in the end. He then pulls out this paper and makes the 4 boxes. Aw sh*t, man... we're in the junior leagues here?! Ugh, no... no stupid boxes worksheet I'll pay this price for these cars and that's that. He's like "my manager will laugh at me if you don't sign this." I just said "I'm already laughing at your manager."
Good news, manager came out! Men's warehouse suit, municipal golf course glasses, and greasy hair. He wants his boxes, lol. He's adamant about the boxes. Now, for future reference when someone tells you thier profession is Business Development you put your grade school techniques down and you pay attention to how a real salesman negotiates.
Or, boxes. Jesus.
So the manager explains to me that I mean less to him as a cash buyer (he actually says this... awesome, you're total sh*t at your job so I guess used Kia sales fits...) and I'm totally put off, no longer willing to deal at all. Unfortunately, my better half is still interested in the other car. I repeatedly ask for the keys back to the car I'm not trading, and magically they appear when I state I'm going to report my vehicle stolen if they aren't returned and someone will have to explain why I'm being unlawfully detained. Like I said, awful tactics. The worst, I thought this was dead... I never run into this anywhere but here and it's just amazing how thoroughly committed they are to doing absolutely everything as badly as possible.
So, back to the deal... lol... man... there's the price of the car, it's $xx,xxx. Ok cool that sounds good... but wait, there's a "reconditioning fee." Uh, you and I know this as "the price of doing business" but not here at Shady Kia! These jokers, reconditioning fee?! Lol, you're selling used cars guys you have to be kidding me.
I will thank you for that one, though... it's what finally convinced my other half that these weren't the cars for us.
The manager actually ran out to the parking lot, in the rain, to stop me. I'm sure he thought I was making a mistake, but... well you know used Kia manager and all... and offers me $500 off if we buy both. Off what, the reconditioning fee? Get real.
Mark Kia owners: invest in your business by hiring professional sales coaches immediately!
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