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| - During my dark and lonely days of travel I have know many fine Italian people and I am personally offended at the stereotypes about them. First I would like to thank Nunzio for the professional manner he runs his waste management company. I would like to thank Pete the Cheek for his excellent service at his Long Island Auto Body shop. Lastly I would like to think my favorite street sweeper Giuseppe Luigi Franco Peter Paul Anthony Rossi. I like to hang out with them and sip amaretto and chew raw garlic and make pasta while watching the Godfather. Stereotypes are wrong people. I try to tell my Italian friends that but my mouth is usually full of pizza and pasta.
One day I was hanging out with my pisans and they made the radical suggestion that we try an Italian place to eat. I love Italian food, but in Las Vegas finding good Italian food is like finding a stripper that doesn't know what Charlie Sheen's tongue taste like or what the tattoo on Dennis Rodman's taint says. Not impossible but too difficult to put forth the effort.
They suggest that we go to Enzo's. It just sounds right. It just sounds good. Say it out loud. Enzo's. Enzo's. Enzo's. It is like a retarded person saying "endzone." Beautiful. So we drive there. It is in a strip mall. Good sign. It is like being on Long Island...except there is no Trader Joe's on Long Island...and if it is I am sure that it is full of organic box wine, jug wine, wine coolers and other really sad items. We park and walk into the nondescript restaurant. My expectations were low. The place from the outside was uninspiring. Pete the Cheek licked his lips. I threw up the bottle of cough syrup I had drank in the car. Guido bastard ruined my buzz. This food better be good.
Despite the fact that Giuseppe brought his monkey and organ grinder and Nunzio kept yelling "that's a spicy meatball" every 30 seconds...but he didn't order meatballs...and they all had dirt on them from burying a guy for not paying the vig...it was really great. The food was terrific. I have gone back several times since and I can't say one bad thing about the food. This is going to be ritzy kind of food, it isn't the gourmet Italian food that you get on the strip for 40 bucks a plate. This is just really great strip mall Italian food than never lets you down and doesn't blow out your wallet.
The first thing I had with my friends was the Chicken Parm lunch special. When you go there you get a salad, drink, garlic knots and gelato for 10 bucks. There are like 7 specials including stuffed shells, lasagna, spaghetti with meatballs and others. For the price it is the best lunch deal in miles. Since that first day I have tried the pasta, the lasagna and more. The chicken parm and the lasagna are the best. The pasta is good but needs some more oil on the pasta and more sauce. They tend to under sauce the pasta slightly. The garlic knots are good, but they need to be a little softer. Sometimes they are overcooked and not as good as the ones that are perfectly cooked, moist and filled with garlic and oil. The gelato is great and they claim it is made in town. It is very rich and creamy. Good ending to the meal.
If you are looking for high priced food with ambiance, nice dishes...that fancy place to bring a date...or sob violently because you are dating a girl with one eye, one leg and one kidney...this isn't the place for you. If you and your part time freak want to go out and eat a good meal...go to Enzo's. Tell them Rex sent you...actually...because of an incident that involved me throwing bleach into former friends beady little eyes...don't mention Rex.
Rex hates you. Rex loves himself. Rex wishes that was true.
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