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  • Well, slap me silly and call me Jane. Not actually. Don't touch me. You know what? Don't even look at me. But if you have some of this pizza, then pass the slice 'mon! As we say in thee islands. Wait, why did my voice just get Jamaican? I don't even know. Came here on vacation. I wasn't expecting much from the outside, but the pizza we had on the inside changed my life. Yes, a pizza changed my life. I know, I know. It sounds weird. But it happened. Listen to me damn it. You have to believe me. This pizza changed my life. That fresh made sausage? What the hell is that? Best thing I've ever tasted. And now I can't ever eat pizza without thinking about it. I sleep and wake up dreaming of that shit. It's not even fun at this point. You ruined pizza for me. The owner came by and was all friendly, making jokes and making friends. Listen buddy, you better get the hell outta here before I kidnap you and bring you back to LA so you can make me daily pizzas in my basement. Ha-ha! Just kidding! Everybody knows we don't have basements in LA. Earthquakes dude. Sheesh. Read a book or something. Anyway, we even had dessert afterwards. Now, normally I don't have dessert, but we had it. And it was great. Just great dessert. So have dessert. It was great. How was it? I just told you. Are you not listening? If you're not listening then why are you even here? Just go already. Yeah, yeah, just go. But if I'm ever here again, I'm coming. Yeah, I'm coming. In more ways than one. Wait, was that a sexual innuendo? Breathe easy 'mon 'cause I don't know. It's what we say on thee islands my friend. Wait, Jamaican again? Really? What's even happening here?
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