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| - Each of the 5 boats that comprise the Gateway Clipper Fleet is a essentially a glorified banquet hall on water. The music and ensuant dancing yesterday evening was typically corny, and the people on board were there for birthdays, bachelorette parties, and in our case, the 50th wedding anniversary of Kay's grandparents.
It sounds like the synopsis for a bad disaster flick, doesn't it?
We rode the river on a leviathan of good times and nostalgia called The Majestic, that with a capacity of 1,000 passengers, is by far the largest boat of the fleet. A beauty to behold, she has 3 decks, the top one being outside, giving one a unique perspective from which to see our controversial city (unfortunately, not everyone thinks we're as 'livable' as surveys suggest) as well as a way to get some fresh air.
The largely middle-aged crowd was in fact shakin' to tunes bashed out by a tight live band fronted by a short, greying man in a gold sequins jacket who was possessed by the spirit of James Brown, defying his age by falling to his knees and rising back up like a teenager sans a single bum note. He should be a star and was the apex of the evening's festivities.
What else can I say about The Majestic?
*The ride itself is so smooth, it's easy to forget that you're moving
*Our Captain's Dinner Dance Cruise lasted about 3 hours. Shades of Gilligan's Island? "A 3 Hourrr Tourrrr..."
*The buffet meal, which consisted of salad, prime rib, stuffed chicken breasts, and a few appetizers (veggies with dip, popcorn chicken, and breaded ravioli) was middling.
*There's a bar in the back. Drinks can be ordered and brought to your table by a server. Some of the specialty drinks come in a special, keepsake cup. My non-alcoholic Captain's Orange Fizz (orange juice and ginger ale, shaddap) came in a massive, blue 50 ounce glass I suspect my mother will use as a vase. Refills on regular soft drinks are free.
*The staff is polite, enthusiastic, jovial, and appears determined to make sure you enjoy yourself, even if it's not your thing, and to be candid, I can't say it was mine.
Not that it's an ordeal, but to me this is one for the out-of-towners and older folk. I.E. Take your parents or grandparents. If my grandmothers were both still alive, I can guarantee that they'd have had a grand time.
P.S. I thought I used to harbor sufficient disdain for disco.
After having been coerced into "getting down" by my date, that disdain is now even more profound.
Pillory that chintzy music, white boy.
P.P.S. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know they have other kinds of bands gigging on the boats. Tim "Ripper" Owens performed on one with his Judas Priest tribute band British Steel for a Halloween show shortly before he became Rob Halford's interim replacement in the very band he was paying tribute to.
P.P.P.S. Last night was the first time I rode on a Gateway Clipper ship in 17 years.
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