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  • This weekend I took my first trip to Wag N' Wash.... part accessory boutique, part delicious grocery store, part torture chamber. My roommate took me here on saturday and i was pretty excited when I arrived. They had his and hers fire hydrants out front, which is pretty cool. I peed on one and we made our way inside. First we checked out the food section. They carry my favorite brand, Taste of the Wild. (Previously I had only found this at Kodi's on 16th St. and Bethany.) Then I perused the accessories. Nice necklaces and pretty awesome toys. I found a super cool Stegasauraus and carried it around for a while. Then my rooomate says, "hey, let's go check out the back." The back? There's more to this awesome place? Heck yes, let's go! And then everything changed.... The door swung open to the back of the store. I heard other guys in there crying. What the hell was going on? My roommate picked me up and put me into this steel box. Some sort of medieval torture device. (Dude, i thought we were cool, wtf?!) Then he puts on an apron and gets to work. Splash, bam, boom.... water torture! Its a nightmare. Soap everywhere, i tried to escape but i was tied down. After what felt like 14 years he turned off the water started to towel dry me off. Then he gave me some cologne. (That doesnt make this okay bro.) Finally i made my exit and back to the "front" of the store. I rushed around and tried to warn all the other dudes and bitches in there, but none of them listened. I think a few actually enjoyed that room. Masochists. So I made my roommate buy me some gourmet snacks. Peanut Butter stars were good, but the little Cinnamon Rolls were my favorite. I also got 2 frozen bison bones with marrow... which i intend on eating on my roommates bed and pillow as revenge. Oh, and i got my Stegasaurus. So go to Wag N Wash if you want some toys or food, it rocks... but whatever you do. Stay. Out. Of. The. Back. Room.
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