| rev:text
| - Vegas, in many, many ways, has it all wrong. Their motto should not be that it's some sort of city-wide ziplock sealing so tightly that not even vapors can escape, the metaphorically alluded-to "municipality as black hole". No. Their motto should be one more truthful and perhaps more pithy. That new motto of which I speak would go something like this: Nothing exceeds like excess.
And perhaps no place encapsulates that better than this place. Want to know what's in the dessert case? Well you can just walk (or waddle) yourself over there and go look. The dessert menu has five things on it (order any of these and they're huge). The dessert case has probably 5X that, but damn if they will tell you what that is. The menu itself has a number of things on it. Order any of them but appetizers and they come on a cookie sheet. This not only does wonders for the carefully crafted ambiance, but adds a flair of mystery to things. For instance, I can't begin to imagine the food waste this place must go through, but I'm betting they toss a lot more than anyone ever eats.
Actually, given the flavor, this is almost a guarantee. I can almost hear you smacking your lips right now? You mean to say we can get a bunch of substandard - and here, this word is best - "grub", served by some very smarmy prick who looks vaguely like Fred Arminsen, but is far from funny or even amusing (wait, maybe it is Fred Arminsen!), yet has a full-tilt condescending attitude that all but insists we should be grateful he can be deigned to bother with us mere mortals. Maybe that's it. Maybe the wait staff in this elegantly laid out pristine and serene little oasis from the flood of body odor and stale cigarette smoke isn't here for us, but rather that we're here for them. Now I know why I flew here. I wonder if it would be an insult if I tipped 150%...I'm in but I have to get back out somehow.
Then again, it's a great deal, if you get a lot, right? It may be expensive, but at least it's mediocre! Expensive is the nature of the biz in Vegas and comes with the territory and so, apparently, does throwing any old thing in front of people. This place clearly doesn't care about patrons coming in and out and is one of the more jaded places I've seen. Maybe they ought to just throw all in and go for "Citizen" by way of the old Soviet Union. I'm thinking a food line with metal bowls and plates. The only thing served will be potato soup with cabbage and garlic, along with a small roll that may or may not be moldy. Drink choices are cheap vodka or brackish water. If nothing else, it would at least accurately mirror the contempt for the customers this place clearly seems to have.
Also, like everything else in Vegas, this place is loud.
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