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  • Okay...if my hunch is right and there is an afterlife, when I get there (assuming it is heaven) I plan to spend the first ten thousand years or so eating Billy's brisket. Holy cow can these guys cook cow. It is fork-tender, perfectly smoked, and lined with just the right amount of fat. It is...well...perfect! I cannot count the number of times I have gone to lesser BBQ joints for brisket and received something dry, thinly sliced, overly smoked, and chewy. It is a real treat to find a place that understands how to make it right. You guys are the super ninja, transformer robot, Obi Wan Kenobis of beef and I salute you. Now for the intervention... You guys have mastered the whole meat thing, and are doing our nation's long history of BBQ proud. But what is up with the fake tea? What BBQ bureaucrat in your organization tasted this stuff and said to himself, "Oh yeah, this will be the perfect complement for the world's best brisket!" (Insert rhetorical pause here...) BBQ, more than any other food, cries out for freshly brewed tea. Great BBQ masters around the country spend years perfecting their craft, and see fit to accompany it with such condiments as sliced bread, dill pickles, and real "brewed" iced tea. Serving brisket such as yours with soda fountain tea is like serving a perfectly prepared prime filet with Spaghetti O's! Yeah...I know...now that I have written it, it sounds kind of good...but never mind that... You really need to understand the travesty here. We live in a world that is full of McNuggets, Gorditas, Velveeta, artificial flavors, MSG, and Wolfgang Puck restaurants. BBQ, on the other hand, is real. It takes us back to our forefathers, out on the open range, cooking meat with fire. It is food at its purest, and part of our American story! How can that rich heritage be accompanied with tea flavored drink? It is wrong...almost immoral. Look, you have done the BBQ-eating world a great service with your outstanding brisket, ribs, and fried okra but you have fallen into fast food purgatory with your simulated iced tea. It does your great food a sad disservice. On behalf of BBQ lovers everywhere, I implore you to dump the tea-like brown liquid and realize your true potential. Your fifth star awaits! It is within your grasp...carpe diem!
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