| rev:text
| - "Just let me go we'll meet again soon
"Now wait, wait, wait for me
"Please hang around
"I'll see you when I fall asleep"
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In A Sentence
A faux-Mexican chain conveniently located in the far-North neighbourhood of Centennial. (Winter is Coming®.)
Quick Review
+ Chicken, pork*, steak, soy, vegetarian burritos/bowls, et cetera. They run through their queues fast as hell now (post-2015 scandal). (*Overheard today: "is carnitas pork?" Heh.)
- Nickel and diming: 2$ upcharge for guacamole? Bruv, an USDA-certified organic avocado is a buck at Smith's across the lot.
Employee of Excellence
+ The cashier/till employee's right-hand woman, typically the conduit between the Ford assembly line and the cashier, who noticed tonight that I had left my fancy phone on the wooding that frames the till area after having placed it there to get my free burrito offer scanned.
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I'm the undisputed Duke of this establishment -- dusts crown -- therefore I suppose I will review. (Flagtrolls, get ready to flag. Morons at HQ, get ready to take it down.)
The first time I patronised the Chipotle Mexican Grill® chain was a decade ago in the U.S. midwest. Burritos in Minnesota. There is a difference between choosing to get faux-Mexican in a location where no authentic Mexican exists and doing so in Nevada, where there are countless authentic choices to select from. I stopped coming because of a) SYSCO delivery I witnessed at another valley Chipotle location; and b) there is a Roberto's* on the other end of this same block (inside Terrible's®).
(*That is not remotely authentic either; however, it is closer on the Mejico spectrum.)
In any case, something always is promoted to bring us back. Marketing geniuses aren't paid the big bucks to sit around and do nothing (all of the time). So, a couple of free burritos will bring me back, for the mere convenience.
Observations since my recent return
+ They are fast as shit now on the assembly line. They are moving, moving, moving. In and out in minutes. Not certain if it is exclusive to this location, or if it is a chain-wide mandate. They're fast here. Faster than fast food. Seriously.
+ The optional gratuity jar seems plenty of plentiful now during the promotion days. Good for these employees. They deserve it with how fast they are running through the customers.
+ There are not that many customers here as before.
Food
A-OK. Adequate enough. I get the chicken because I assume I cannot be easily killed with chicken, or at least have less of a probability. I always get lettuce though and it will be probably what kills me in the end: greens. (Thanks vegans.)
First: ask for the burrito. I think you can double-wrap at no additional cost, although I have never done it. (I have heard as well of the possibility of a quesadilla wrapped burrito from a particularly gluttonous Crossfitter from Kansas City, MO.)
Second: white rice or brown rice. I always pick brown because it is a better colour. (Technically, white isn't event a colour [neither is black.])
Third: black or pinto beans. I always select pinto because it is more fun to say.
Fourth: type of meat. I select pollo.
Fifth: pico. I always select pico de gallo. If you can't pronounce it correctly, you might be uneducated. Return to primary school.
Sixth: crema, queso, no guac -- NO GUAC! -- y lechuga. (Translated: sour creme, cheese, lettuce.)
Seventh: clarify if you wish to dine-in or eat out. Pay. Tip. Go home.
[777.]
Service
I'm a fan. It used to be slow in the past; however, they whipped them into shape. No lollygagging here! This ain't Burger King®! Promote the till winglady at once upon a slot opening for ascension if she is not already the manager.
Ambiance
A-OK. They all look the same; this one is clean. More than adequate*.
(*Music could be better though. Where are the corridos, coño?)
Parking
A-OK. It's free yet scarce anywhere near the restaurant on most nights. I park to the south or west in the lot and just walk. There is always parking along Pizza Hut® (because it's Pizza Hut). Walking is probably good for you.
Pro Tip: the free menu item offer was available for a day -- I think -- and good for the month. Apologies if this tip is dated and not useful to you at this time. (Isn't that the case with all tips?)
Pro Tip: the restrooms are around the back a la izquierda.
Pro Tip: this is definitely the smallest Chipotle location I have ever been in.
Final Word
I am not sure if I am back-back, but they sure got me back at least for a couple of visits. Dropping a couple of dollars in the tip jar and eating essentially free burritos is good para el alma.
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Tourists
None here: it's far from the strip.
Kids
Good for 'em+. (+Teach them early how to say pico.)
Dogs
Leave them at home unless they are service-providing.
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Rating: Three-stars, "A-OK." [5000 max limit.]
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