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| - [note: there are a bunch of non-recommended 1 star reviews. I recommend you read and believe them, and seriously question the 5 stars. It seems a lot of other folks were just as disgusted as us and created yelp accounts just to put this place on blast, not realizing yelp would stick them in the corner]
So, my girlfriend and I attended the New Year's Gatsby event at Bord'Elle. It was billed as 25+ with a jazz quartet and burlesque as well as circus-style performances.
We walked in at 10:30 and ordered 2 overpriced drinks for $24 at the large bar downstairs. The bar uses an electronically metered pour, so my cognac looked very sad indeed. It appeared to possibly be 1 oz. The space is beautiful, but the music was pulsating techno, not the jazz we were promised.
Looking for an escape from the overcrowded space (it is much smaller than it appears in photos and does not have a dance floor.) We made our way to the upstairs bar and learned from our(awesome) bartender that the jazz was only for dinner service at 6pm(???!) and we would be subjected to the whim of the two terrible DJs all night.
The bathrooms were disgusting, gold toilets did not class it up, and the coke use was not at all discrete. At some point they shut down the upstairs bathrooms. Reading the other reviews I am going to assume this is due to the feces smeared on the wall. My girlfriend had to beg a bouncer to be allowed to rejoin me upstairs after using the ladies room downstairs(which had no toilet paper- a fact she brought to the attention of multiple people, non of whom's job this was apparently.) It was nice to know that our spot had suddenly become so exclusive and VIP, but seriously guy, you just watched her come down the stairs.
We finally ventured downstairs just prior to midnight, when the music became slightly more tolerable and danceable, but the ADD DJs could not leave a track on for more than 20 seconds. As soon as the crowd's mood turned to dancing they would change the song. In hindsight, maybe it was for the best, since there was no room to dance.
Also, the billed "burlesque dancing" happened once in the 3.5 hours we were there, unless you count the girl on the swing, who was on the swing 2 times- and I am assuming that was the circus-like entertainment.
The worst part is this: TIckets cost $65 in advance. I could have paid the same to go to an open bar with coked out bros and barely legal girls at a bunch of other clubs. We chose this one because it sounded like a relaxing, fun and stylish way to ring in the New Year. We were sadly mistaken. Also, no champagne toast. You could not get champagne at the bar we were at upstairs, nor at the main bar. To obtain a glass you could only go to the other upstairs bar(for real? it's New Year's eve) and pay $15 for a flute of Prosecco. It seems enough people found the vibe as lame as we did, since they decided they could offer $25 admission after midnight.
Scariest part of the evening: We carefully stood near a "sortie" (EXIT) at all times, due to the fact that all bottle-service(and there was a lot of it) was escorted by giant sparklers, including a menorah of sparklers going out with a magnum of Monet. Coming from a state where a club-fire caused by fireworks killed 100 people, I was very wary of how close these sparklers came to igniting the balloons and the low-ceiling upstairs. I can't believe this is actually a thing.
Highlight of the night: the bartender upstairs, who seemed like a genuinely good guy.
After reading all the other reviews I am so glad that we opted not to go for dinner service. Our last minute walk-in at Nouveau Palais was the best decision we made that night. Anyway, I recommend never going to this place. Ever. It is pretty, but there are much better spots.
Oh, and just as an aside. If you own a $3k clutch(or even if you don't) and order $100 worth of drinks, a $2 tip is not appropriate. People are so cheap it hurts.
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