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  • This is a story about evil, redemption, and the hero who brought calm and order to the chaos which had claimed the land in an icy grip. The story begins with four bothers, each unique in their own right, but fearsome predators all the same. Under their claws and fangs fell couches, rolls of toilet paper, fluffy toys and tinsel from the Christmas Tree. Every year by late spring, the brothers would have created a vast, dark army which dotted the land. At the very cusp of dawn, as the sun would reach long tendrils of light across the earth, our eyes would be met by a thousand, tinsel encrusted soldiers. Silent. Staring. Slowly.... decomposing. Every week (or was it months?), we would sigh while donning gloves and a grimace, and go to do battle with the infinite army. Yet, we always seemed to struggle against the hordes which never seemed to relent. We did battle in the heat of the day, under the white splendor of the full moon, with friends, neighbors, children at our side. But the four brothers were powerful and their army never was never vanquished. And then, from the far shores of the Camelback corridor came a warrior in a white truck, armed with little else but a bag, a scooper and the will to succeed. Hearing our call, he gathered the hordes which had become the bane of our existence and banished them from the land. Gone was the glint of tinsel, the white flags of digested toilet paper, the Lego pieces encapsulated in shells of organic iron. This warrior named Carl, promised to revisit the kingdom every week, to keep the brothers in check, and to ensure that their armies of darkness would return no more to terrorize our waking hours, our dreams, our weekends. And so he does. While the brothers continue to pillage both kibble and couch, we are free of the hoards that drained us of time, happiness and spirit. This story is at an end, but yours may just be beginning. If so, call Carl and gaze upon your army of darkness no more.
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