Do you like half-baked chinese food? Well, step right up! The golden phoenix is for you! With cuisine that rivals only the cheapest buffets the Golden Phoenix will cause you to have bowel cancer later in life. Processed meats, frozen, then microwaved are complimented by watered down sauces. Yum! Don't worry about the extra calories from the fried rice, because you wont want to eat that anyway. The entire meal is shrouded in mystery on which dish will come to which patron as you will probably have the wrong order put in front of you.