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| - Many years ago in the mid-80's, following the success of the movie, a "Ghostbusters" store opened in my neighborhood of Brookline. It didn't stay in business long, closing mere months afterwards. To this day no one believes that it existed when I tell them about it.
One recent evening found this writer skulking the streets of Lawrenceville in the rain in an attempt to waste 2 hours of extra time prior to the Pentagram concert across the Allegheny River at Mr. Smalls...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1En8nhifu7c
I came across two corpses standing before me, glaring at me, lurching towards me, almost daring me to come inside.
"Upon you...mmmmmgggrbbblll...we ssshalll feasssst," the female said. "Come, herrroooo...mmmmgggrrblll..."
I entered and was immediately surrounded by the unliving. This was their shrine. There were t-shirts to the left, toys to the right, graphic novels catacorner from me, posters above my head...
Would I be...?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfgBcOcW1J4
I may not understand the current zombie craze as I find zombies more disgusting than scary. After all, "They go up real easy" as was stated in a certain cult classic movie my dear mum once auditioned for. Yes, she was almost "Barbara"...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6EMALvJQVc
She still criticizes the character for not being strong enough, claiming that if she was Barbara, she'd be doing the...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgj_CVJaHhk
The father of a childhood friend directed the piece, by the way. Making of a documentarian of the...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2-Ub3svM_s
Nonetheless, this is a gruesome, ghoulishly geeky shop that I hope stays alive for far longer than that "Ghostbusters" emporium did. What will it take? Gamma radiation? Or...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAhFQKV-7vI
On that same coin, let's pray they don't become a retail giant like Hot Topic, either...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuQcmOIVWIk
Lest the zombie lords themselves become...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6VnzJQ7lm0
Narrowly escaping a horrid demise at the hands of the dancing, levitating houngan hipster that rules this church of rotting flesh, I defeated all of his animate cadavers with elbows, fists, and feet. He himself would flee, his magic no match for my wits, agility, and strength.
"I'll make you one of them," he vowed as he floated away into the dreary dusk.
"Damn. I got a maggot on my Mastodon shirt," I said to myself, reeking of carcass odors as I freed several living prisoners who thanked me with hugs.
Now yinz know the real reason behind my visit to the dollar store in Millvale. Man, that Febreze is a godsend to us destroyers of supernatural evil.
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