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| - This place totally made Jana's 5-Star Las Vegas hitlist DESPITE of the following events:
1. They served me Bushmills instead of Jameson. (Let me finish.)
2. The fact that one of our fifteen servers was a real ass. As you may have guessed, I strongly suspect this dolt had something to do with the Bushmills at our table. Also, Dan could not get order a proper Guinness to save his life. The "real ass" didn't know the difference between a Guinness Stout and a Guinness Draught, which Dan is a stickler about. HE DOES NOT WANT STOUT. He wants Draught. If you only have stout, he doesn't want it and he would rather have some water instead. Really, what is so fucking hard to understand about this? By the time the "real ass" left our table (after a lengthy discussion of the difference between the two, dominated by Dan,) Dan had somehow ordered a Stella Artois.
How the hell does this happen? I'll tell you. It happens when you are dealing with a "real ass" that doesn't know his ass from his elbow about anything but acts like he does. Really, this is my least favorite type of person. If I had my way, they could let all the murderers and rapists out of prison and just put all the real asses of the world in their place. I bet there'd be fewer murderers and rapists if there were fewer real asses in the world. IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, JUST SAY SO. The world is here to help you.
I thought after we finished our drink order, "Did Dan just order a Stella Artois?" Hell to the no. I've NEVER seen him order a Stella Artois. I flagged down a much more capable server by the name of John who cleared up the mess. The theme of our service of David Burke was "John cleans up all the "real ass's" boo-boos." We liked John a lot. And we felt bad for him because he seemed to be the only one there doing his job. He also cleared up the Jameson boo-boo and later, he cleaned up the steak boo-boo in a timely, suave, and confident fashion. Oh yeah.
3. There are too many damned servers. How many god damned servers do two people need? I can't really handle all of these servers. Call me a little whiskey tango, but I can only focus on one, and at most, two of these people. But I counted at least 5 different faces replenishing our drinks and bringing us salads and menus. There is a point where this just seems so silly not to mention fucking confusing. Who do I ask for what? Jesus.
4. They served me the wrong fucking steak despite my man's crystal-clear ordering manner.
5. I'm 78% sure that I lost one of my favorite hoop earrings here and I strongly believe that the "real ass" threw it away.
6. The table situation is weird. Dan and I sat at a corner table and kept whacking each other with any slight knee movement. I could tell Dn was not feeling the table situation because he is tall.
7. It's fucking pricey. Don't look at the wine list unless you make over 6 figs. Jesus Christ. That shit better give me flawless skin and intestinal health to merit that kind of outrageous expenditure. HELL to the NO thank you.
Haha.
OK, now that these have been established, I bet you are wondering why the fuck I am giving David Burke 5 stars with all the faux pas, and particularly, the Jamey faux pas (the point of no return, under most conditions.)
Well, let me just tell you EXACTLY why: It's the STEAK. Bone-in, ohhhhh ya. It is grandmotherfucking good. I don't remember the exact name of it, but god, it makes up for all the bad things that may have happened to you in life. Dan special-ordered this bad boy for me. Here is my rude interpretation of what Dan ordered for me: So you order the steak with the bone in it that comes with mushrooms and onions on it BUT you tell them you do not want the steak prepared with the mushrooms and onions on it and that you want the steak prepared the way that they prepare the steak with the creamed spinach underneath. Find out what I am talking about and do it. It is HEAVEN SENT it is so delicious. I toted those left overs around Las Vegas for HOURS and brought them back to our room only to have them spoil in that thing I thought was a fridge. It turns out you're not supposed to touch anything on that thing. See my Bellagio review for more details.
So anyway, my point is that the steak was so good that it made up for ALL of the other bullshit going on in David Burke's. Now THAT, my friends, is a GOOD steak. And thank you John, for making sure our order got to our table. My message to David Burke: PROMOTE JOHN and allow him to oversee your hiring practices. Seriously, y'all got some wrinkles to iron out. But for that steak, you get the benefit of the doubt=5 stars.
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