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| - Did you see "Joe's Apartment" in the mid-90s? And did you ever dream of making friends with cockroaches twice the size of the bugs you'd actually find anywhere outside of Florida, just like the eponymous Joe did? Do you feel lonely in the mornings unless you wake up to some type of vermin waving at you from your windowsill? And most importantly, are you uncomfortable in architecturally sound establishments that don't include charming details like bathrooms sinking into the foundation or front doors that don't even close all the way?
If so, run - do not walk - to this landlord and plunk down a deposit right away on your next beautiful Pittsburgh slophouse. For the low, low price of $325-400 for a 1-br or $600-675 for a 2-br, all of this and more - the roaches, the vermin, the sinking foundation, the useless door, and if you want one, a sewage line running into your kitchen - can be yours. No credit and no references necessary to rent with this company. You don't even have to work a job. Just rope a roommate into living with you by promising you'll renovate the place "soon" and remember to donate some plasma before your rent is due.
Inquire today! But hurry. They go fast.
p.s. The City of Pittsburgh Housing Authority found 24 severe code violations in my unit alone and suspected more in other parts of the building. If you're looking to rent in the eastern part of the city and aren't sure which property company to use, feel free to send me a message. I've had a couple amazing private landlords in the Friendship/East Liberty area and have also used a reputable property management company - and I'm always happy to make referrals.
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