| rev:text
| - You might be asking yourself, "Lance, why do you go to places like this, you're clearly a man's man, who takes no prisoners, and loves bad bitches" TRUE. Valid points. Keeping prisoners in my house would be burdensome and annoying so I generally don't do it, and my love for bad bitches is equal to my love for getting vulgar on yelp. However, I get dragged to places like this by a woman who thinks places like this are cute. I complain, but I go for the writing material, and to get it out of the way. Otherwise, I'll be hearing about trying this place for the next 5 months.
Some people think I'm angry, some people think this is rude and disrespectful. Fuck all y'all. If my business was shitty (not possible, but lets roll with the hypothetical) I would appreciate hearing about it and try to fix it. Sadly, this is the 2nd location of a place that's been open forever and not the first review where people bring these facts up....so do they just not care?
Moving ON:
No one that's ever worked for, or at this company has spent more than 10 seconds thinking about business decisions, process, or even money. I'm talking general currency, how it works....how we can exchange it for goods...how to get more of it...preferably in a shorter period of time.....like prior to death.
GET THE FUCK OFF ME SON.
There's 3 distinct things going on at this place
1) People are trying to order food, from a menu, at a counter...ok simple enough.
2) People are trying to order a pastry, or maybe $200 worth of them at same counter
3) People are trying to get coffee drinks.....or are they?
SEPARATE YOUR FUCKING CUSTOMERS
Group 3 is basically fucked, because there is no drink menu. There is thousands of dollars of barrister equipment sitting over in a corner, but it's a complete waste if no one even knows what to order. A baby could figure this shit out. If your theory is: "WELL WE CAN MAKE ANYTHING"...well fuck yourself, because most humans are crippled by open ended decisions, and I didn't see shit coming out of that area the entire time I was here. I was asked what I wanted to drink...and I said..ummm....? I suppose water...you have to have that, right? FAIL 1. Drinks are always the money maker. They should be front and center.
Group 2 is a bunch of old women who want to bring like 60 macaroons back to their house and have a retirement party. Pure golden girls shit.."Let's get 20, no 30 no 100...ahhhahah....lets do 3 dozen of one and 4 x 2/3 dozens of each of these other 3 hhaha..MACAROON heaven!!! Ohhh gloria you old bag, I promise I won't tell your doctor...my grandkids are going to shit themselves worse than Gladys did last night at bingo" FUCK OUT THE WAY. I'm hung over, and I'm starving....Get Themla and Louise over to their own register like every other place that offers bakery items....OR fucking come to my table and wait on me. I don't know the split of your revenue, but whatever it is, segregate this shit. Sorry bout it Brown Vs. Board of Education.
Group 1 is me, I don't eat sweets, because I save my diabetes risk for alcohol. Also, I"m hungry and NO MOTHER FUCKERS I DON'T WANT SALAD.
You can have any side you want, as long as it's potato salad or shitty leaves we picked off the bushes in the front. WRONG ANSWER.
Every place like this has a burger...thank fucking god..because when women start restaurants like this...strictly for other women..someone says: "I know this is going to sound crazy....but what if a man comes in??...like by accident or whatever??? Ok fine, we'll make a burger...BUT we'll look down on you when you order it, we'll take 40 minutes to make it, and we'll assume you're a republican, with no soul, your life is probably in a downward spiral, you probably beat your wife, and also NEVER COME BACK EVER fuckface man."
So anyways, I got the burger....it was actually good, but it didn't fill me up, and neither did the 7 leaf salad....so I went to Pita Jungle where I ordered, ate, and paid in less time than I waited in line at whatever this place is called I'm reviewing.
PS: There's fricken 12 people working in here.There's also 12 people working at Zipps across the way. Which is at least 5x bigger, bar + full menu and is ASS PACKED. Lesson: Process improvement.
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