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  • Fellow Yelpers, I present to you my White Person's Guide to Lambda. Why am I providing you with such a valuable service? There are many reasons really, but mostly because you need to venture away from thinking that Co-op, Safeway, and Costco are the only places in this town to buy groceries. Another reason is that I might be awesome. Still trying to figure that one out. Print out and carry this handy guide with you and I guarantee you will have a positive experience AND you'll feel like somewhat of a rogue, shopping in a store where you're the only whitey. Step 1 - Do NOT attempt to park within a block of the market. Obligatory asian driver jokes aside, the biggest reason is that it will be MUCH faster to park near the Shopper's Drug Mart or Timmy's and walk the block. Step 2 - You probably love sushi (all white people do). But you don't like spending $6 for 5 little gyoza. At Lambda you can get a bag of 36 gyoza for under $6. Once you enter, walk straight ahead until you hit the freezers. Two kinds of gyoza (pork in a lime green bag, chicken in a blue bag). Pick up one of each and try to control your smugness on the way to the ponzu sauce aisle (Japanese section). Step 3 - Head over to sauces and pick out virtually any sauce for a third of a price of Co-op or Safeway. Co-op charges $4.19 for a can of Thai Kitchen coconut milk, pick up some authentic stuff here and you're laughing all the way to the bank. Step 4 - Want to make bubble tea? Pick up a bag of tapioca pearls (Cock brand is best. Seriously.) and add them to your mango smoothie for pseudo bubble tea. Step 5 - Need some fortune cookies? White people love fortunes because then they can say things like "in bed" after the fortune and laugh because now it's a sex joke and who doesn't like jokes about sex? Bag of about 20 fortune cookies - $1.10. Browse around the store each time you go because you'll always find something amazing and if you're cooking any sort of asian dish, you'll save a ton by getting your ingredients here. Most importantly, do NOT attempt to park in the lot! Good luck!
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