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  • Trying to give up Pizza? Here is some inspiration. I don't condone giving up pizza by the way, since all pizza isn't this bad. Let me say I'm both a pretentious critic and a simple man. Sure, I like Citizen Kane but I also like Zoolander. Good food doesn't need to be snooty and stuck-up, it does need to satisfy though. The pizza here has super powers. Somehow it was able to be soggy, greasy, chewy, flavorless, and dry at the same time. The quality of the ingredients really make the pizza, and when you take processed cheese, over-worked and poorly seasoned dough, and some tomato paste that surely came right out of a huge aluminum can, you can't expect greatness. Think a cardboard box soaked in oil, covered in old cheese and canned tomatoes. I am from Chicago where pizza is king, so I know not to expect the same variety and quality here, but Northside Nathan's Detroit style pizza is an epic failure. Detroit is not known for their pizza, and even though times are tough in the motor city right now, they are better off keeping this place as far out of Michigan as possible. In the mood for that carboard consitency and flavor tonight? Do yourself a favor and just take a few bites out of an old shoe box, it's cheaper.
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