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| - Guys, I swear that I am not a picky person, and that I feel comfortable in a wide variety of settings, from dive bars to swanky restaurants. I was pretty excited (momentarily) when my husband and I walked into Lucky's for breakfast on Good Friday and it reminded me of one of the cool little cafes that I would frequent when I lived in Seattle. The excitement ended pretty swiftly. We were greeted by the hostess/waitress who haughtily informed us that, although they opened at 7, were not able to offer breakfast yet because the kitchen didn't open until 9 (huh?!) It was 8:30 at that point so we decided to order some coffee and wait the thirty minutes. After all, the Yelp reviews were great and we had travelled a fair distance.
As we waited, more and more people piled in. We perused the menu and were somewhat taken aback that there were only about six items for breakfast, none of which cost less than $14. We surmised that the coffees we sipped on were an omen of the delicious breakfast to come and that it would totally be worth it -- my husband's latte was probably the best we've ever had, and even the drip coffee was excellent for this admitted coffee snob (hey, once you live in Seattle it becomes an obsession!) We were waiting in anxious anticipation to order our food. By the time 9:00 rolled around the dining room was basically full and the lone server was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. The only other person working there was pretty much chained to the coffee bar because she was trying to frantically fill all of the coffee orders. The server took our order second, as we were the second people there that morning, but a part of the ordering process is listening to this really long, canned speil about how they're farm to table and yadda yadda yadda. The dining room is small and her voice is enormous, so once she said it to the first couple I felt like it probably sufficed for the rest of the diners. However, we had to hear it again probably fifteen different times throughout the course of breakfast. It was kind of comical at first but then it became rather annoying.
My husband ordered the shipwreck, which is a big egg scramble that comes with toast. I ordered the canoe wreck, which is a vegan scramble with curried tofu and sounded delicious. Then we waited. And waited. And waited. We saw lots of breakfasts coming out of the kitchen, to people who ordered after us. Just as we were trying to flag the server down to inquire what the hold up for our breakfast was, she appeared at our table looking frantic with two heaping plates in her arms. She set the shipwreck down in front of my husband, and set an identical looking plate down in front of me. "Ok I messed up your order and just put it in for you but here you can eat this until it's ready," she blurted out to me in a hurried and breathless voice. "What is this?" I inquired. Well, it was another shipwreck. I told her that we couldn't wait any longer and to cancel the canoe wreck (we had other things we had to do in Cleveland that morning and we were already running behind because of all the waiting) and I disappointedly picked at the eggy monstrosity put before me. I'm not actually a vegan, but this would have been an even more frustrating experience had I been. Don't get me wrong, the shipwreck was OK, but it was not at all what I wanted that morning. I tend to not order egg dishes when I go out for breakfast because how easy is that to prepare for yourself at home!? I'm pretty sure I could make several shipwrecks at home for the $14 that it costs to eat one at Lucky's.
My husband ate about half of his breakfast and we decided to move on. As I said, it was OK, but we really didn't want to hear that "farm to table" speil again and the place was so crowded that it was becoming uncomfortably loud. We went to the coffee bar area to pay and again had to wait a painfully long time (maybe 10 minutes?) because, still, the other woman working was chained to the espresso machine and had her back to the counter the entire time. This is also the waiting area for people hoping to get a table, so we felt like crushed sardines. After several unsuccessful attempts, my husband finally managed to get her attention and we received our check. For two breakfasts, one latte, and one drip coffee, we paid $42. They didn't take my botched breakfast off of the check, and it would have taken such a Hurculean effort to argue the point because of how busy they were that we decided our time was worth more than the $14, so we paid the check and left.
TL;DR: go to Lucky's and get a latte, then drive over to Slyman's for breakfast. You will be so much more satisfied and you'll probably pay about 1/2 of what you would otherwise.
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