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| - The Orleans is the place I spend the most of my time at in Las Vegas.
I like staying here because they have an ironing board and steam iron in every room. The ironing boards are top quality and as stable as the Rock of Gibraltar. The steam irons are the same ones they use in the professional ironing competitions you see all the time on ESPN.
And get this, the irons are all practically brand new. It's like no one ever uses them.
When I'm on vacation I just LOVE to iron! I mean, who doesnt, right? But, some people just don't have time to do their own ironing.
So, between visits to Las Vegas I run an ad on Craig's List offering my exclusive high end Ironing Services. I have a lot of successful business people and a few local celebrities among my clients. My ironing services do not come cheaply. Yet, even with my high prices, I am able collect several dozen orders before each trip which I pack into the trunk of my car for the trip to Sin City.
Then, when I'm in Vegas, I spend most of my time in my room ironing. I always get a smoking room so I can smoke while I iron. I turn off the sound on the TV, put on some cool tunes, fire up some smokes and get into my ironing groove. Sometimes I put in 10 or 12 hours a day, just smoking and ironing my damn brains out. Some days I'm so into it i never even leave my room. Room service brings me anything I need.
The cool thing is, if I bring more than I can iron, I can pay the hotel laundry to finish it up. They do a great job and they charge less than I do. It's a win, win. So much winning!
Now, there are a few other reasons why the Orleans is my main base of operations.
First off, so many places in Las Vegas are just too damn big. Want to eat? Get to your room? Play some slots? It's like a damn ten or fifteen minute hike. Those places are exhausting.
The Orleans is goldilocky, not too large and not too small. Big enough to have a nice poker room, all the newest slots, a large variety of table games and decent restaurants. Small enough that you can find parking close enough to self park. Small enough that you don't lose your buzz walking between point A and point B inside the place. Or writing a Yelp review about the place.
I've been to several spas on the Strip and downtown and I rate the Spa at the Orleans as #1. You can read my separate review of Spa Orleans for all the details. But how could this not be my top rated spa? Almost every time I visit I am the only customer. It's my own private spa. Plus, it's got the absolute best steam room. You know a good schvitz can wipe away a multitude of Sins.
Mikey C says: Make America starched again! Death to perma press!
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