| rev:text
| - "Just wanna change a lot
"And sign our name after the dot"
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In A Sentence
It's not an actual town square and I hate misnomers.
Quick Review
+ N/A. Wait ... no. Parking is free*. (*As of the date of publishing.)
- They will lie to your face. Don't gift me with a voucher to a closed show in exchange for purchasing gift cards. I am not a tourist and I will one-star yo' ass**. (**raises brow.)
- They don't even possess the decency to permit indigent people to lay around as in real town squares. Is it a town square or not?
- Yuppies. Too many yuppies. Yuppies will be offended when reading this***. (***Flag away.)
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Storytime
I don't forget Town Square Las Vegas. I don't forget.
And I certainly don't forgive. I don't ever forgive.
I distinctly recall purchasing two gift cards (that I still fucking have, goddammit!) with a value of 250$ or 350$, or some nonsense like that, for vouchers to tickets to shows. One of the vouchers was for a show that was closed. The goddamn show was closing within nights of my purchase, and actually within the window that you were running your fucking promotion/scam. I don't forget Town Square Las Vegas. I never forget.
Here's your much deserved one-star after all this time. Moreover, Rock of Ages wasn't even that good anyway; especially when accounting for the fact that I purchased in excess of 500$ in useless gift cards for the privilege to attend that show alone 'free' of charge*.
(*For that amount, Tom Cruise better be in the cast. And, he might have to give me an additional favour as well.)
First hand customer experiences:
Check the check-ins. First of all, there is tons of parking (and it's free!) as well as a RTC stop right along LV Blvd. where the SDX stops. There are stores, bars, a movie and stageplay theatre, faux parks, et. cetera. I have been in several of them -- and even reviewed a couple (see below) -- and "primarily relevant" to a consumer experience is presumably engaging in that activity. I have watched shit, eaten shit, drank shit, bought shit, taken a shit ....
The above paragraph is included because Yelp HQ is figuratively braindead and cannot distinguish "Real People, Real Reviews®" contributions from whatever reviews they should actually be removing via moderation with their power. I have been to this fucking glorified strip mall and ...
Individual stores reviewed
AMC Town Square 18 - Two-stars
http://www.yelp.com/biz/amc-town-square-18-las-vegas-2?hrid=5TY65dA91ds3YhBrvj_S9g&utm_campaign=www_review_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)
By the way: they maintain prices as if they were a premium theatre. Tourist trap. "I've experienced better."
Claim Jumper - Two-stars
http://www.yelp.com/biz/claim-jumper-las-vegas-2?hrid=u2Z3QjQEgQNBFI8UA6zUWA&utm_campaign=www_review_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)
Worst service within a twenty kilometer radius. Quite possibly the worst service -- dollar for dollar -- in the whole fucking town!
Johnny McGuire's Deli - Two-stars
http://www.yelp.com/biz/johnny-mcguires-deli-las-vegas?hrid=Jb0jmdlv-crrjF4s0R8Zzw&utm_campaign=www_review_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)
Food is decent, not extraordinary (Veggie sub was godawful the one time I tried some from my girlfriend's), but certainly a bit over*priced.
Bottom Line
You deserve a one-star and a one-star you'll get!
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Tourists
Good for tourists*. (*Tourists are all over it like cockroaches.)
Kids
Good for kids*. (*Kids can be seen daily running all around the AstroTurf® as if they had never seen real grass in their brief lives.)
Dogs
Good for dogs*. (*Dogs love eating AstroTurf.)
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Rating: One-star, "Meh. I've experienced better."
In Memoriam
Dancing Queen
2013 - 2013 C.E.
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