| rev:text
| - I had lunch at Lulu's today after St. Paul's Easter mass, only as a last resort because Crepes Parisiennes and Eat Unique were both closed for the day. I had two bad experiences at Lulu's before, but that was about a year ago, and I was hungry. The memories of past horrible food had faded gently in my mind, and I was feeling forgiving.
Big mistake.
I ordered the BBQ pork noodle bowl, and Bob the Boyfriend ordered ramen. The food came out fast enough, so no complaints there. But from the first bite, it was clear that things had gone horribly awry. The pork on top of the bowl looked and tasted like something a dog would gnaw on, tough, dry, and very salty. Underneath, my noodles were completely unseasoned, just rice vermicelli with nothing else to speak of.
As for the boyfriend, Bob's ramen was technically ramen, I guess, since the noodles were ramen noodles. But instead of a savory beef or pork broth, his noodles were backstroking in miso. While this is weird and cheap-ass of them, I can't complain, since the broth was clearly described as 'miso' on the menu. But the real problem was the miso broth itself. The amount of miso in it made my tongue curl. It was so salty it was almost inedible.
When the waitress asked me if everything was OK, I told her plainly about the dry pork and the bland noodles, and she said "Yup, that's the way it comes." I was stunned and didn't know what to say, so I asked her to suggest something else. She recommended the Singapore rice noodles.
The Singapore noodles came out after a short wait, and the noodle bowl mercifully disappeared. But then the new noodles were so heavily spiced that they were (again) almost inedible. Certainly not bland this time, though! I have to wonder if they were messing with me. Finally, we asked for to go boxes and high tailed it out of there. It was a depressing, bad experience.
Other notes: The atmosphere is horrid (loud music, completely crowded), and the waitstaff is aloof, almost bitchy.
I'm aware that this review has turned into a bit of a rant. The fact is, as I mentioned earlier, I've had two bad experiences there before. I'll spare you the details. I am hoping this review will serve as a reminder to myself in the future: Erin, it doesn't matter how hungry you are or how much people try to talk you into Lulu's. Don't cave. Hold out for Rose Tea or anything, really--anything else. DON'T DO IT.
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