rev:text
| - "See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them."--Jerry, "Seinfeld," episode: The Alternate Side
That's exactly what happened to our group of 11. United Bakers *took* Shari M.'s reservation for 11 people at 12 noon but didn't really know how to *hold* the reservation. That's how we wound up waiting nearly an hour for brunch.
While waiting, I carefully strategized what I was going to order: a bowl of soup and smoked whitefish on a bagel. I even scrutinized the bread bins in the takeout area to see which bagels looked optimal for my brunch. The sesame bagels looked too doughy and under-baked while the plain ones lacked the requisite healthy shine. Their signature twisty bagel looked more like a braided Kaiser roll. Pfft. I decided that I would order a marble bagel because it looked the chewiest and shiniest of them all. So, I'm a bagel snob. Sue me.
When we finally got seated, I was the last one to order only to find out THEY WERE OUT OF SMOKED WHITEFISH! I was crestfallen. Like here was my crest, and there it went, boom, on the floor. I settled for the lox appetizer.
Luckily, United Bakers were able to redeem themselves a bit with their bowl of beet borscht ($4), served with boiled potatoes and sour cream which satisfied the now ravenous mob of proletarians on the brink of revolting in my stomach. The lox appetizer ($8.50) appeased me with 5 strips of melt-in-your-mouth lox to go on my pre-ordained marble bagel which remained pretty good untoasted. I also got about 4 tablespoons of luxurious cream cheese for an extra $2.50.
Our waitress was a cheeky older lady full of back-sass and vinegar. I loved her. The vibe there is noisy and hectic. I estimate that the roving busboys and busgirls offered to refill our coffee cups six times.
Would I make the schlep from downtown again? Yes, but not with 10 other people and only after I'd confirmed they have smoked whitefish in stock.
P.S. The restaurant is Kosher-style, i.e., they have dairy and fish but no meat. Do not come here expecting bacon and eggs.
|