| rev:text
| - I found this place blind, with the aid of Yelp. I was wandering Coventry to see what's changed since i was here as a kid, and I had some time reserved for a decent dinner-for-one at the bar after a 5-hour plane ride.
The bartender was very kind to offer me a taste of the wine before I got a full glass. Unfortunately, the glass smelled like bubble gum and had lip prints all over it because it hadn't been properly washed. Too bad he didn't check before he poured, as most bartenders would. He promptly re-poured, and the wine was fine.
I've lived on both coasts and worked in restaurants during college, so I know enough to stay away from seafood in the Midwest. I try to order seasonally and locally. Today is June 25. It is most definitely tomato season and I'm in a city where I expect people can appreciate heirlooms, so I ordered the caprese salad.
It was composed of thick slabs of hard, flavorless SYSCO tomato ice-cold from the fridge, interlaced with just-ok fresh mozzarella. I even checked the plate for condensation to see if it had been pre-assembled and pulled from the cooler (I don't think it had). This burger-sized stack was topped with Italian salad dressing. From a bottle. This is just wrong. And scattered with some arugula, which they mistakenly call "micro-greens".
A caprese salad is, in my opinion, pretty hard to screw up. It's just a few good ingredients, sliced and put on a plate with some oil, totally un-fussy. But this assemblage was so bad, I did not finish it.
There's no excuse for this. You can't charge $8 for this pile. I don't want to pay for the two guys behind the bar to shoot the shit instead of serving the three of us who are seated there.
Once i got the barkeep's attention I tried to cancel my second-course order so i could leave, but it had already been fired. In fact, when I asked about canceling it was sitting in the window, getting cold.
The foie gras was okay, but was basically overpowered by the risotto on which it had been parked. There was a green oil on the plate which could only be appreciated visually.
If you're going to put up this kind of a facade with the decor, you cannot fall this short on food. I'd suggest that they skip the pretense of being a restaurant and focus on drinks and music, which the other reviewers seem to appreciate. It is a good space for a bar/club vibe, so unless their liquor license is dependent on having a menu they should toss it in the trash. Or, fire the chef and start from scratch.
Luckily I also bought a half sandwich from Grums, thinking this was just a bit of cheap comfort food to eat on a long car ride the next day. Too bad it had to stand in for my dinner.
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