| rev:text
| - You know what's awesome? Pizza. You know what sucks? Criss Angel and his Believe Cirque du Soliel show.
If you're anything like me, you have seen Criss Angel do some interesting stuff on television. You also know he is a self-absorbed, douchbag magician with mediocre talent.
Apparently this show was retooled recently. I feel sorry for anyone who saw it before it was "improved".
The show is a magic show. It has nothing to do with Cirque du Soliel. There is no dancing, no really elaborate costumes, no acrobatics, gymnastics, flight, or fun. There is a lot of talking. The show is supposed to be about 90 minutes. It was about 75. Fifty minutes was Criss talking. He told us about his family and how he got in to magic. It's very boring, not funny or interesting, and no one cared. Every trick or illusion he performed took FAR too long to setup and perform. They weren't impressive, and all-in-all, there were maybe four tricks in total. Most of the illusions are him vanishing. He does this 10-12 times. WE GET IT. YOUR THEATRE HAS TRAP DOORS. THAT'S NOT A TRICK.
Criss is accompanied by four male assistants and several women assistants. He talks to them, trying to be funny. It isn't. It's boring. It's too much talking. He isn't smooth or charismatic. He stumbles and bumbles. Sometimes he says "shit", and a minute later he says "you know what", referencing shit again. Really, adult? Use big-boy language or don't, but dont waver. His uncomfortable presentation is felt by the audience. He knows the show isn't going well. He tells the audience over and over how great we are. We aren't. Neither is he. Everyone knows this is shit. Now I know why he writes the name of the show to emphasize the LIE in Believe.
Criss takes about 44 opportunities during Believe his TV show and pat himself on the back for his accomplishments. He thanks the fans over and over. It's tiring and repetitive. Here is a tip from one performer to another: stop saying thank you. Earn something. There's a reason your audience isn't laughing. There's a reason you have to beg for applause after every stupid story or trick. We are bored as shit.
You can't edit a live show, and I imagine this is where most of the show falls apart for Criss. If you've seen his TV show, you've no doubt noticed what a sub-par magician he is. It comes across very clearly in his stage show. The stage is poorly lit.. He shows about 6 videos during the show of tricks that have editing so they look better. His tricks are uninspired and hack. He wrings the life out of a method or premise and just kills anything it had going for it.
The bottom line is that this is the worst show in Vegas. It's probably the worse show in Primm. Or Branson. The very idea that the Luxor, MGM Resorts or Cirque du Soliel would allow this show to continue is a joke. Everyone left shaking their head. Criss has to feel how palpable the lackluster reaction to him and his illusions were. The audience hated it.
Would I go back again? Sure. If it was free. And Criss Angel was replaced with a real magician. And if there was pizza.
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