| rev:text
| - I wanted to join the parade of folks who speak out after having set foot in one of these factories of misery.
First, let me get the one, single, solitary nice point out about this place: It has multiple teas on slow brew for you to sample, and they are delicious. There. That's it.
Now, that's how my experience started. Naivety. Free samples. Innocence. Peace and tranquility. Let me tell you a tale, a tale that has no happy ending...
Willy Teawonka, our sales person and bullsh** slinger extraordinaire, kindly introduces himself and proceeds to tell us about their grand selection of fine fine teas, and ohhh we must smell them, yes yes, do smell them my precious guests!! You will be intoxicated with the magical aromas!!
So Wonka spins and perouettes and grabs canister after canister, popping the tops and fanning tea smells into our faces, oh so delightful! Whif whif, such an orchestra of delightful puffs of air! Yes, honey, let's do this, let's buy some TEA!!! Wonka! I'll take an ounce of this fine tea!!! I must have it!
////////////////screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech/////////////////////////
No, you cannot have ONE OUNCE, but I can sell you pounds and POUNDS of tea, WAHAHAAAA, GLORIOUS tea, and I'll give you ten dollars off if you buy a whole lot of it, and it will be $290 instead of $300, what a wonderful salesperson I am to you!!!!
No thanks.. we'll just have the ounce of the tea!
Oh no no noooooo my pretty pretty little lost children in my mighty tea kingdom!!! You must have a metric ton of tea! Nothing less will do!
No really... I only want the one ounce please, we must be going now!
Oh, alright, but I've never had someone purchase so little tea before!! You must feel like a horrible, horrible person who knows very little about tea!
No, I'm good, I am happy with my life outside of Teevana, actually.
Ok well I went ahead and rang you up for a $60 airtight container! It will keep the wonderful tea oh so fre....
What? No! I don't need that! Take that off! What are you doing ringing me up for things I didn't ask for and don't need?
OH YOU DON'T NEED IT? HOW WILL YOU KEEP IT FRESH? YOU KNOW IT NEEDS TO BE AIR TIGHT AND DARK, DON'T YOU!?!?!?!?!? [glaaaaare]
Look man, give me my ounce of tea or we're bouncing up outta here and I'm going to slash your tires, final answer you lunatic.
And we bounced, never to return to this dark place of sinister tea wizardry.
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