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  • Lemongrass is like a first girlfriend; I was really happy to have her at the time, but as the years have gone by I realize wow, I was WAY too into her. See, when I first got to Cleveland, Lemongrass was the only Thai place I knew. And it was right outside the Cedar Lee Theater, so we could see an indie flick and then get Thai food! How awesome is that? I was in love. I told all my friends. But as time went by, like any relationship, the excitement waned and I started to notice all the little irritations. Like how much Lemongrass cost - it was spendy for Thai food. And the fact that the curries really weren't all that flavorful. And the soups were bland. Like a bad girlfriend, my friends started to complain. "Lemongrass AGAIN?" they whined. "Why does SHE always have to show up after the movie?" "Shut up!" I cried, putting my hands over my ears. "She's awesome! She's the best Thai food EVAR!" Then I listened to Jimmy Eat World and ate my Thai food, crying, in the car. Eventually, this cute little Thai Hut on the other side of town caught my eye. "I'll just have some Massaman," I said. "To go. That's not really cheating, is it?" But man, that Massaman was everything Lemongrass could never be. I didn't want to admit it. We never had a formal breakup - I just saw her less and less. It was awkward, coming out of the theater; Lemongrass would look me in the eye, and I'd just pretend I didn't see her. Sometimes, I think, "Man, I should go to Lemongrass." And sometimes we hook up, and then I come away going, "Wow, that was too damn expensive and didn't taste all that good." Just like my first girlfriend. ZING! (DISCLAIMER: Actually, my first girlfriend was a lot better than Lemongrass.)
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