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| - Everyone farts.
The question is whether the meal was worth the aftermath.
If it's Mexican, without question. Every fart I can pump out after a #4 at Macayo's is like Babe Ruth at bat - I knock each and every one right out of the park! And I don't even mind.
But milk?
Yeah, I don't know. Sometime's it's just not worth the effort. And I know a lot of people who feel this way - claiming to be lactose intolerant when they're really not. They've just never cozied-up to the idea of pumping hot growlers when the meal was only Count Chocula and not a delicious plate stacked with enchiladas.
But let's say you're not truly lactose intolerant but really more farting intolerant, have I got good news for you.
Danzeisen Dairy.
Danzeisen's milk doesn't sit in a stainless steel tank at UDA (United Dairymen of Arizona) for god knows how long before getting shipped off to market. Their milk, unlike even the best 'organic' milks are by far fresher tasting and longer lasting - three weeks to a month under normal conditions.
And here's the best part.
It won't make you fart. I have proof.
I drank a quart of strawberry, and half quart of orange the other day at work and all I could muster was a little tiny chick fart - like that one at the end of Jeff Daniel's bathroom scene in Dumb and Dumber - and I didn't even have to! I just sort of pushed it out just, well, because, that's what I do.
The milk, produced daily at 3 am, is on your grocer's shelf that same day. Their market is small; AJ's Fine Foods, Whole Foods, and Safeway, and there's the bottle deposit to contend with, but overall, you'll be glad you tried it.
If you're a milk drinker but in recent years found yourself straying due to the unpleasantness of gagging yourself for no apparently good reason, that all ends now.
Danzeisen Milk- worth each and every little mildy warm squeaker your system can muster.
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