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| - We'll go good to bad here:
Price - Grade: A. My wife and I were pleasantly surprised with how reasonably priced everything on the menu was.
Food - Grade: B. The Bacon Quail Egg and Pork & Shrimp Shumai were bomb. The Chicken Heart, Salmon sashimi, and Tonkotsu Ramen were all good, but nothing to write home about. The Spicy Tuna Riceball and Tableside Tofu definitely missed their marks. The Riceball was just that - a ball of rice. The amount of tuna was very disappointing; and there was slightly steamed seaweed on the outside making for a very chewy experience. The Tableside Tofu was not good - it was like a flavorless pudding. There were sauces provided, but the method to eat it was frustratingly difficult. We were given one small bowl with one spoon for two people. So we opted to both eat out of the serving bowl; I gave my wife the one spoon and I used a ladle. Why didn't we just ask for another utensil? I'll get to that...
Service - Grade: D. Comically bad actually. The fact that we just kept laughing about how bad it was ended up making for a pretty enjoyable experience for us and bumped the Grade up from an F.
The dining experience starts off with a guy asking if we'd gotten a hot towel yet. Seems like an easy thing to keep track of, but we reply no. He leaves and returns a few minutes later with below room temperature towels. My wife and I just look at each other and laugh.
The waiter then shows up and describes how the Umami menu works. 'We do things a bit differently here and don't do traditional courses. Rather than ordering appetizers, then entrees, then dessert, you order as you go. You're in the driver's seat. On the left side of the menu, you see our smaller plates. I recommend starting with those. In the middle and right side of the menu, you see our larger plates. And at the bottom right, you can find some great plates to finish your meal with.'
So..you just described every other f***ing restaurant in the world. Despite claiming to be really changing things up.
Against his recommendation of ordering food as we finished them, we ordered our first 3 plates at once. And we were glad we did. After the first one showed up and we finished, the waiter was MIA for at least 20 minutes. I'm 90% sure he went to the back to do some blow because he came back all sorts of on edge.
The Towel Guy then returns to ask us if we had received a hot towel yet. No joke.
The missteps and fumbling continued throughout our meal. Like I said, we found it quite funny how bad it was, but I'm sure not everyone would.
Overall, it feels like they're trying so hard to be taken seriously, and just fell short. I would not go back to Umami.
Also, not sure how they sidestepped ADA requirements, but there are 2 flights of narrow stairs with disorienting wallpaper to enter the restaurant.
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