| rev:text
| - So I'm gonna break this down into segments because there are far too many things swirling around my head right now to regurgitate it out into any form of organized thought.
1. The Hotel
When I booked the room, I reserved a non-smoking king bed standard room.... upon arrival, I was told they were "sold out" of king bed rooms. Only after my wife sarcastically stated something about a comp upgrade, and several moments hesitation and thought, did the front desk clerk "upgrade" us to a non-smoking double queen bed room with a view. As we made out way up to the room I was thinking, "ok, we're staying in a castle themed hotel... I can only imagine what the rooms look like" Boy was I wrong. The room as plain, nondescript, and boring. The only castle themed items in the room was a framed drawing of a shield hanging above the toilet. The beds were comfortable, but plain. The dresser and table had scratches, chips, and dings showing years of use. The only new...ish thing in the room was the TV, a wall-mounted flat panel 42" TV. The view was good, but for me at least, it didn't make up for the other problems.
2. The Casino
No problems here. My wife and I love playing roulette and Excalibur had both live dealer roulette and something called Organic Roulette where a machine spun the ball and players have their own touch-screen display to place their chips. Both were fun, but I enjoy live dealer play more (especially if the dealer has personality). One thing will say positively of the casino floor was that they had multiple roulette tables open. Three $5 minimums and 1 $10 minimum tables which I appreciate because it can take a while for a seat to open up if there is only one table. The slots are the same as everywhere, so I can't bash Excalibur or praise them.
3. The Dining Experience:
Oh buddy.... where to begin. Let's see, momma always said start off with a compliment. There is really only one redeeming quality about Excalibur that would make me deliberately want to go back (only to eat, btw), Dick's Last Resort (reviewed on it's own Yelp page). The other dining experiences were disappointing to say the least. Excalibur has a little bit of everything: Dick's, a BBQ place, a food court, a steakhouse, a buffet, and room service dining. The problem... THEY ALL CLOSE! The room service is allow offered between the hours of 0600 and 1400 (6am and 2pm). The only... let me pause for dramatic effect... ONLY 24hr dining options are McDonald's, Starbucks, and Krispy Kreme. WTF?!?!?!?!?! We don't go on vacation and spend hundreds of dollars to eat the same shit I can get down the street of my house! Vegas casinos are 24hr operations... they purposefully build the place without windows and do not install clocks so that patrons will not know what time it is and keep gambling. That said, you would think that an operation the wants people gambling 24 hrs a day would want those same people fed and happy during that whole time, right? Wrong. I even called the front desk one night because I was hungry for real food and not a BigMac or a fucking doughnut. I spoke with Mary, the manager of guest services, and was told that because Excalibur caters to the family audience (people who bring their kids) they find that the majority of patrons are not active nor hungry during early morning hours. I was also told, more or less, that she didn't care about my concerns and that there was nothing they could do the make up for the problem.
***Please see my other reviews for reviews of the individual restaurants we ate at***
4. Overall Experience:
I've been to Vegas twice, once to New York New York and then this time to Excalibur... I must say that I was severely disappointed. Between the lack of late night/early morning dining options, the lack of interior theme decorations (it really looked and felt like they blew all their money decorating the outside of the hotel and the entry way to look like a castle, but just went with a Best Western approach for the rooms), and the shocking number of strollers, infants, toddlers, and other variously aged children running around, I would not stay here again. I will, more than likely, return to Dick's Last Resort for a meal or two during my next visit, but I will sleep and gamble at another resort.... one that takes my patronage seriously and treats me like I am the target demographic (21+).
Oh... one more thing. There is a small army of hotel minions that will seek out, stalk, and harass ANYONE that walks near them trying to pitch them a deal. They start out with an innocent enough "bait" question to strike up a conversation and it doesn't fucking matter what you say to them (yes or no) they will try to rope you in to signing up for a bogus deal. The deal is you leave a $99 deposit, if you book within 1 year
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